I Can (Not) Advance

Title is based on that of the new Evangelion movie, Evangelion 2.0: You Can (Not) Advance.

Penalise me, if you must, for beginning this entry with an all too depressing note, but let it end there. It's a balance that I must have, the inevitable phase that I go through after a period of positive outlook in life. I was rebuked for taking on this blanket statement, and because I can be such a hard-headed ignoramus, I took my argument no further. Delusions I must not indulge myself in, and being lost in a tsunami of raging emotions is never an option. Life is too short for us to be morose, or so I was told, but we are also advocated to always stay true to ourselves.

Perhaps there will be those who will agree with me when I say that no other postings highlights the concept of God's provisions better than Obstetrics and Gynaecology. There's simply no telling what will happen, much less when. Or to whom. Or who will be there to seize it.

I'm in despair. Time is quickly running out, and my energy limited.

I want to believe (even though I can't) amidst the situation I am in. I want to look up at the open skies, but the mud I trudge on sinks me deep.

I don't want to lose hope in the shifaa' - the panacea - that God has given.

I just want to believe that there's something for everyone. And that in the end, it _does_ really matter.

"And He giveth you of all that ye ask for. But if ye count the favours of Allah, never will ye be able to number them. Verily, man is given up to injustice and ingratitude" (14:34) (Source).

Source

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Now playing: Hans Zimmer - Panic, Sheer Bloody Panic
via FoxyTunes

Lest We Forget

"Sungguh, Allah tidak akan menzalimi seseorang walaupun sebesar zarah, dan jika ada kebajikan (sekecil zarah), nescaya Allah akan melipat gandakannya dan memberikan pahala yang besar dari sisi-Nya" (4:40)

"Dan orang yang beriman serta mengerjakan kebajikan, Kami tidak akan membebani seseorang melainkan menurut kesanggupannya. Mereka itulah penghuni syurga; mereka kekal di dalamnya" (7:42)

It's something that, despite our encounter day in and day out, we can't seem to hold on to staunchly. Because it's always easier to see yourself as a victim instead of one who's given the chance by Him to improve yourself.

...On a lighter note, BBC will be airing their new series - Sherlock - this Sunday. Do want! And why is it that good shows that I'm dying to watch are popping up when I have more important things to attend to!?

Modern day Sherlock Holmes. I personally prefer the Victorian era but no matter.

And moustache-less!Watson will need some time getting used to...

There are No Words

I lied. Of course there are words; otherwise there would be no entry.

My mood has been melodramatic, at best. It's more on the indescribable side; I feel like a painter who was just asked to explain her abstract drawing. Maybe that is not art on the canvas, but rather, mere splotches and drips of paint orchestrated by the irascible paintbrush.

Maybe this issue of altering what is deeply engraved in me takes more than I can manage. Maybe not, but there's no discounting that possibility.

I don't want to see the world as conspiring against me, because it's akin to having little to no faith in His Plans.

For now, it's time to try controlling what can be controlled. Hmph.

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Now playing: Lifehouse - Halfway Gone
via FoxyTunes