Compilations #11

It feels...not good.

I have yet to discover the clear demarcation between 'ignoring' and 'denying'. Perhaps it's because my head is never good with such distinctions, especially when it comes to subjective matters.

Just like I can't seem to practise this 'optimism' that people preach.

I wonder if calling me a 'walking paradox' won't be off the mark...

2. It feels like a love-hate relationship.

Lately I've been disappointed for far too often. Too often, too much. The anime titles that they're churning out are becoming more and more - shall I say - derogatory in nature, although there are a few selected titles that make me look forward to them.

This doesn't stop me from following up via anime blogs though. Why do I continuously subject myself to such trifles?

Is it something worth bragging about if I can walk into an anime store and give a synopsis of at least 85% of the anime stuff that they have? And let's not even get me started on the seiyuu themselves...

3. But I am getting utterly frustrated with the manga Detective Conan. It's like a bunch of filler chapters over and over again, except that the cases are not enticing to say the least.

The kids are an annoying bunch...and I kind of wish that Ran will just drop dead already.

4. Bored. Bored, bored, bored, bored....bored.

5. And yet back then when classes were on I was still stuck with boredom. What on Earth is wrong with me?!

6. ...I probably have been watching a bit too many movies. Is it normal to not feeling excited about having watched Kung Fu Panda 2?

Or maybe I just can't get over the talking animals.

...Somewhere along the way in the cinema I wondered if it'll be considered racism to be having different animal species in a movie depicted differently.

7. ...I probably should have put a warning before I actually started typing this entry. The obligatory "turn away if you don't want to be plagued by my despair or something".

Too late though. I apologise.

Current Music: Wonderland - Natalia Kills

Intermission #21

It is part of the Mercy of Allah that thou dost deal gently with them Wert thou severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about thee: so pass over (Their faults), and ask for ((Allah)'s) forgiveness for them; and consult them in affairs (of moment). Then, when thou hast Taken a decision put thy trust in Allah. For Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him). (3:159)
If Allah helps you, none can overcome you: If He forsakes you, who is there, after that, that can help you? in Allah, then, Let believers put their trust. (3:160)

1. I like to think that one of my fortes is sarcasm (Not exactly something worth bragging about, I agree...). Maybe it's just my way of letting it out without employing a loud tone of voice, but while I have many opportunities to put this into practice, I rarely do, for fear of:

• sounding like an arrogant know-it-all (...)
• accused of being rude (...some people tend to accuse more easily than the general population...)
• the listener not understanding the sarcasm, which kind of defeats the purpose. Dang.

Or, maybe, it's just my style of humour - which people don't always get, which sort of results in my unwillingness to mix around much. That, and that catering to people exhausts me greatly.
(On a somewhat unrelated note - I'm starting to think that 'humour' as an ego defense mechanism should not be put as a mature defense mechanism. It belittles the gravity of the situation - isn't that akin to denial itself?! And some people push the jokes a bit too far...it starts to get irritating. And offensive.)
Perhaps I should start becoming more silent. That way people may not misunderstand me much, it reduces the risk of inadvertently offending anyone else - and it probably helps in that what I say rarely bears any impact anyhow.
...Thank God for blogs though.

2. "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves" ~ Carl Gustav Jung.

If I appear to be colder and more labile these days, I apologise. It dawned on me that with some people it gets more difficult to tolerate them and their antics...and so I might have accidentally 'displaced' any displeasure I have towards them on some other poor innocent souls.
Or...it could be the stress. Now with regards to the time, one can only say "OMG Final Pro is just next month, OMG!!".

3. Avicenna's keyboard is acting up. The cursor appears in odd places and starts to insert the text I'm typing into other words. What the flipping heck, Apple!
Yeah. Time for a new laptop. A MacBook, no less. Sigh.

4. The manga Meitantei Conan is finally back on track - somewhat. It's about time too! Besides, I need more Okiya!

5. "The world is a crazy place. And sometimes that craziness infects us. Sometimes it makes us a little crazy too" ~ Anonymous (snagged from Tumblr)

I'm the kind who is in tune with my psyche and aims to achieve harmony with my surroundings. But with the...turbulent state of things, I can safely say that it's nigh impossible to achieve this task.
The heart can only take so much before breaking. Maybe because it's never meant to take up too much burden. But with the Internet, with the information overload (useless and useful data notwithstanding), it seems that ignorance is bliss after all, when applied correctly...

Maybe I should move away to someplace else, where people can act more rationally instead of just resorting to the excuse of "other people hexing others using supernatural means"...and the delusion that just because one has Google or the Internet in your laptop/computer/iPhone/PDA/tablet, you're as good as a specialist in that area.

...I wonder if such a place actually exists, or is it just an idealist's unattainable Utopia?

Current Music: Redemption - Gackt Camui

Intermission #7

1. Done with Radiology for now. My eyes hurt, my head spins. Making sense of a spectrum of gray is taking its toll on me...
Next, dermatology. Ack.

2. Case reports. Thank goodness they're done with.

3. Can't wait to go back next weekend. Got a call from the bookstore saying that Caleb Carr's The Alienist that I ordered one month ago has finally arrived. If I weren't at the hospital when I received the call I would've squealed like a fangirl on helium (or sugar rush, whichever is higher in frequency).
I did manage to finish Caleb Carr's Killing Time one week after purchasing the book (deliberate delay on my part), but God Knows that after I shut the back cover of the book, I had some bad aftertaste lingering in my buccal cavity. That's not to say that the book was _bad_ - on the contrary, it was well-written, and it highlighted one of the major concerns of this so-called information technology age - but maybe that's exactly it; It rings true to the current scenario, and I shudder when I realise that I could be playing right into the enemy's field, just the way they wanted me to. Tsk.

4. On a positive note, the so-called Book Fair - not many books to choose from, but I suppose I'm in no place to complain - did manage to provide me with three books that were awesome bargains. It just shows that there could be hidden gems among the, uh, not-so-worthwhile.
...So what if I still am only two-thirds through Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers, and halfway through Simon Winchester's The Professor and The Madman?

5. Methinks I should widen my choice of reading materials. Sure, crime and mysteries are intriguing, but they highlight the dark sides of people - one that is willing to trample over others just to get their way, and to satisfy their selfish needs and greed.
...Somehow I can't imagine myself reading chick lits or Twilight romance stuff. I need more intricate plots, more complex characters, and story development that blows one's mind.
And I want Dan Simmon's Drood.
Writing is difficult. Which is why I haven't written much lately.

6. I'm all out for technology, but reading books the old-fashioned way still beats eBooks.
The same goes to academic books, alas.

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Now playing: Back-On - Sands of Time
via FoxyTunes

P/s: Naruto chapter 486 made me LOL (there's simply no other manner to describe it). Or rather, the reactions to that chapter... *snicker*

P/p/s: Am way behind Durarara!!...Maybe getting the DVD once it comes out would be a better option...