Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Tunnel Vision

"The key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success but significance - and then even the small steps and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning" - Oprah Winfrey


We're blessed with stereoscopic vision as opposed to panoramic; the former enables one to gauge depth and distance at the expense of reduced field of vision.

Combine this anatomical advantage with the outstanding capabilities of the grey cells - plus guidance from God - we're supposed to be fully equipped to face the challenges the world has to offer, whatever form it may be. In an ideal world, or at least in theory.

It's like as I grow older and my eyes opening wider to take in the surroundings, the cruel world surfaces little by little, each discovery more shocking and disturbing than the previous. At times I shudder to think what sort of bleak future awaits mankind down the road. Or if I can see any future at all. Is it there in the first place?

The integral factor in this is focus. No matter how overwhelming things can be, the rule is keeping your eyes on what is truly important, what shines above the rest, and those that help in self-improvement and in securing a brighter future.

Maybe a little "figurative tunnel vision" is good. It keeps those troublesome diversions out of sight, so that the more significant aims become the highlight of the show.

Of course, there's still the danger of being narrow-minded instead...

Current Music: You Don't Miss Your Water ('Til the Well Runs Dry) - Craig David

P/s: Two differential diagnoses for bilateral temporal hemianopia are pituitary adenoma and craniopharyngioma.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Versus

Every once in awhile, we are unfortunate enough to encounter people who are ineffably impossible.

Impossible because there's no pleasing them. They're trapped in their own delusions that they're always right and that others are downright wrong. Their flawed voice of reason is strong, perhaps outdone only by their stubbornness.

Most of these people are, from my observation, the aged. The kind of old guys talking loudly about nothings, smoking one cigarette stick after another, blowing stinking cigarette smoke from their nostrils like an insufferable exhaust of a decrepit automobile, unaware of the end that it is heading to. Or old shrews who go around like a fussy headmistress with obsessive-compulsive disorder, shaking fingers at the smallest of trivials and blowing their top like kettles on high when things don't go the way they had dictated.

Because some people are so narrow in their thinking capacity that when something goes slightly off, they're the first ones to point it out as a blasphemy - although it could have actually been another view which is not entirely unacceptable...

...or a necessary evil that could not be avoided.

Case in point: Last week I was tasked to perform venepuncture in this one old...fella, prepared with a slight reminder from a few housemen - "Pak cik tu susah sikit. Kalau tak dapat sekali, tak payah cuba lagi". When I realized who the patient in question was, I figured what the doctors meant by "difficult"; it wasn't the veins that would pose as a challenge to this hapless adventurer, but the fellow's personality. It didn't take much observational skill to note that this fellow might be of the inconsiderate type, with his radio on loudly and his manner of speaking and even of lying on his bed. (...I'm guessing now the identity may not be a secret anymore to my fellow ward-mates at the time?)

With whatever hope for a smooth procedure out of the nearby sliding doors, I approached the bed and told him the usual stuff. As I started to tie the 'tourniquet' just above his left elbow, he rambled about how students shouldn't be taking blood and it's a doctor's job and how the government shouldn't allow it and how he would've gone elsewhere if it weren't because of for what-reason-I-couldn't-be-bothered-at-the-time...to another patient, who apparently agreed with him.

I maintained a deaf ear throughout, focusing my eyes on the needle and the vein, my lips pursed tight, muting my tongue from uttering a single word of rebuttal, and confining my debater mode within the deepest depths of my being.

There was the temptation of deliberately keeping the needle poking him in longer, just to punish him with intolerable pain for that erroneous mindset, his incurable ego and his godforsaken tongue, or maybe just screw up so that he'll be treated to another dose of needle puncture more tormenting than my own - but there was this angelic voice of reason somewhere in my head (where have you been all this while!?) insisted that no, I must not resort to mindless violence or cheap revenge, professional people don't stoop to the level of ignorant imbeciles, besides shouldn't this be seen as an opportunity to prove that we medical students, who are scoffed at unjustly, are also at least as capable as the doctors when it comes to a simple procedure like venepuncture!

Cough. Pardon for the momentary idealistic intermission that slipped through...

So yes, I succeeded, thank dear God for that, smiling at the blood in the syringe as it was transferred into the plain bottle, not one minute meeting the eyes of the fellow (take that, ha!).

But, underneath the calm(?) facade, while the blood flowed impeccably into the tube, there was another battle raging in the chambers of my conscience; my debater part was slowly breaking free, keen to take control of my Broca's speech area, to deliver a parting speech. My conscience pleaded for a reconsideration, I was left indecisive. Then that voice of reason reminded me that it would be unwise to pick a fight right there and then, and that some people can never change when we use words, logical or no.

So I collected the things and left him.

The doctor asked whether I got the blood - was that anxiety that I heard? - and I nodded, telling her that "...pak cik tu ada la bising skit tapi" and briefly on what he had said. She asked why had I not responded, to which I said, "Tak pe la, takut gaduh nanti..."

Just to express it out, here is what I would have said if I had gone into debater mode:

"Pak cik ada cucu tak? Dia jalan umur berapa? Selalunya budak-budak mula jalan satu tahun...Pak cik rasa salah ke kalau dia dah start belajar jalan sebelum umur dia satu tahun?

"Macam medical student la kan...kalau tak start ambil darah sekarang, nanti bila jadi doktor tak tahu ambil darah, kan ke susah? Orang ramai expect doktor-doktor tahu ambil darah...benda macam ni bukannya boleh tahu tetiba je. Nanti pak cik jugak yang susah. Tu je la. Terima kasih eh pak cik..."
End with a super sweet smile that in truth wishes for all the greatest evil in the world.

The point is: People can be unreasonable. The media and the public demand too much that it gets impossible to accomplish, yet they are quick to give judgment and to penalize. In the process of defending what they see is their right, some people get stepped on and the rest becomes the scapegoat.

They forget that things can go wrong. Wishing that things do not go wrong won't nullify this 100%.

I might be wrong to have thought of the above with my own brand of malice and holier-than-thou attitude. It borders on unprofessionalism, but really, nowadays in reality, fighting water with fire works only a few times. Fighting fire with fire might prolong the issue, but hey, you might end up somewhere, right?

Is it wrong to counter acid with alkali? Because it's called neutralisation, and neutral is good in such situations, don't you think?

...I hope to God I won't ever become one bitter harridan as I grow older...

Current Music: Live Like We're Dying - Kris Allen

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Intermission #6

Some things are downright difficult to be put into words.

So I just finished my first week in Orthopaedics. Heaven Knows that it was a shock to enter the ward after a whole block of being away from the hospital environment. The stench that greeted us was by no means alien, which perhaps paled in comparison only when one puts it in juxtaposition to a certain odour we were made to accustom to during our O&G posting (which I shall not name here). Even so, some may disagree with my olfactory sense...

We have yet to enter the OT, which I suspect will be one heck of an adventure in its own right. So many things to do, and while ten weeks of Orthopaedics - minus revision & exam weeks - is undeniably long (nine, with one week already history...), the length is more of a mental and emotional perception rather than the chronological...

...I wonder if my leg muscles will get developed by the end of it all, though.

----------------
Now playing: MINMI - Shiki no Uta
via FoxyTunes

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Intermission #5

Oh my.

The break has actually ended! And despite my intention to read up on anatomy in hopes to prepare for orthopaedics...well, it didn't work much. Alas. But that was expected, considering that I was mentally unprepared to shoulder the task, with too much thinking on other trifles taking up too much of my time. That, and mending a broken heart ('coz biostats hates me. No kidding.).

Yeah, so much anticipation, mostly negative, for the impending posting. Haven't been to the hospital for _ages_, it'll take some time getting used to it again...

...And trying (in vain?) to find a safe and proper parking space. Yeah.

Oh God. *facepalm*

----------------
Now playing: Sting - If I Ever Lose my Faith in You
via FoxyTunes

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Laments of A Semi-Otaku

Warning: Emo-rage ahead.

I think my days as a semi-Otaku are numbered.

The sort of anime released recently have been, by my standards, average. Most have been adaptations from visual novels and eroge. While Suzumiya Haruhi, an example of the former, has been a worldwide phenomenon - for what reason, other than Kyon, I fail to comprehend - others have been so-so.

Taking example from the Autumn selection, my general impression would be cringe-worthy.

Very few made me intrigued that I went into research mode, like Darker than Black: Ryuusei no Gemini, Kobato., Tatakau Shisho: Book of Bantorra, and Aoi Bungaku. Some tried to entice with a very dim light of hope, such as Seiken no Blacksmith (...what is up with that armour!?), Fairy Tail (Hirano Aya makes me go "...meh"), Letter Bee (what's with the loli?), Kimi ni Todoke (This turned out to be a pleasant experience), and 11eyes. Others made me rage (Miracle Train...what were they _thinking_, those sexist imbeciles!?), because they only relied on ridiculous excuse for a plot, cheap fanservice - abnormal anatomical proportions, indecent exposure, inappropriate camera angles - harems, and...females getting it on.

Really now. That's how I was reduced to an anime blog reader rather than an anime watcher.

Still, as I roamed around several anime blogs, it came as a nice surprise to see that the new Winter Anime list is already up.

Am eyeing for Durarara!!, Katanagatari, Nodame Cantabile Finale and Okami Kakushi. Some of the animebloggers said that the selection is more of a "quality over quantity" issue...Which may be good. It will allow me time to backtrack, to watch those that I've missed or had no time for before this.

Oh well. There's always manga.

As a side note, Sakura, I mean, Kishimoto, stop messing up with the plot already!! As if Itachi's death isn't good enough as a plot twist...I really should stay away from Naruto...

----------------
Now playing: Fall Out Boy - Thanks For The Memories
via FoxyTunes

P/s: ...Will probably end up buying those Autumn anime that I wanted to check out. It's too much of a hassle to download or stream...

P/p/s: No, don't end, my break!! I don't want to start Ortho... *headdesk*

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Ex Post Facto

Breaks, however short they may be, allow me to take five and collect my thoughts and stabilize my sentiments.

And God Knows that I still have a long way to go. Somewhat surprising, considering that my previous block was Community Health and Family Medicine - some may be compelled to add "merely" before it - and by law, it shouldn't be stressful to anyone sane.

Well. Old habits die hard.

(Now's a good time to run if you're one of those people who think that I only complain. Perhaps the significant difference - p value > 0.005 - in our viewpoints and interpretation of things will never be amenable to change. Let's just agree to disagree and forever hold our peace.)

Maybe it's the other things. Those that happened on the sides. Firstly, the library is giving me problems, saying that I've yet to return a book. The problem is, I've never borrowed the book. Who would've thought that the title Disaster Medicine would bring a disastrous consequence, with such an ominous title!? And guess how much the book was priced? At least Rm300! What on Earth?!

(Let's just say that the library once screwed up. Fortunately I found the book that I have returned, but they failed to update my account. I frown at their blunder, and now I rage...still in silent, though.)

Then there was the time when Miyavi's battery died. The poor thing was stranded on hostile lands - KoM's god-awful idea of how a parking lot should be - for three days until a kind friend helped to bring him out of the fix. Again, money.

Fines (No, people, to my knowledge, summons do not mean saman. See what the university has done to your English!?). The latest one is because of some-may-know-what. I was erroneously lulled into a false sense of security when I received no words, since generally no news is good news. Oh boy. Things are not looking up.

I would have exploded into an endless tirade of hate, sarcasm and condescending name calling. But I didn't. The frustration is there, the melancholy...

But saying that I'm sick of all this nonsense is correct too.

My exam that day doesn't bode well either.

Yes, this numb feeling. Is this a proof of maturity, a sign of a stronger defense mechanism? A hope for a brighter future...

...or an omen to more devastation ahead?

Current Music: Love Drunk - Boys Like Girls

P/s: Not a SasuSaku fangirl - never will be - but seriously now...Sakura's confession to Naruto made me rage. Even if it's not her hontou no kimochi and it's done for his sake or something along those lines, it was poorly executed. Ah, Kishi's trolling...
It reminds me why I've dropped Naruto, Shippuuden or no.

Might as well follow Kobato., Kimi ni Todoke or some other tolerable shounen out there. Or shoujo with no irritating characters...and characters with pink hair. Yes, Sakura, I'm talking about you.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Beating A Hasty Retreat

"When defeat is inevitable, it is wisest to yield" ~ Quintilian

There are times that test our credibility and integrity as who we are.

There are times that the Hard and Awful Truth comes and pulls us back from the dreams that we lull in, to knock some sense into our already thick skull, that we are still essentially powerless over things, and that without proper preparation and dear God's Grace, we are reduced to meek, sitting targets on the vast battlefield, alive but until when? When things turn against you, would you have enough strength and willpower to push forward, despite your zero arsenal?

Is lost hope recoverable? Or do we allow it to sink into oblivion forever?

Current Music: Marukaite Chikyuu (HRE Version) - Konno Jun

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Confessions of a Semi-Otaku with an Autumn in Her Heart & Soul

A post that shows how limited is my focus on all things academic...

Every three months or so, there would be a new selection of anime in addition to those that they are currently showing. When the main plot takes a break, there will always be fillers to fill in, and from what I heard, the current arc in Bleach is pretty decent.

Right now, it's autumn in Japan. And the selection they have in store are mostly not my thing *shudder*.

Surprisingly, the titles that I initially wanted to avoid received favourable reviews. One being Kimi ni Todoke (Reaching You), mostly because the animation looks blah bland, plus it sounds like a generic shoujo romance. Then there's Letter Bee, which has an eccentric animation and sort of a bland premise (yerp, it involves postmen sending letters/parcels/etc, and apparently it's a dangerous job). Fairy Tail, despite the feminine title, is a shounen, and a fan favourite at a manga scanlation site...although the animation seems to resemble Rave's.

Kobato. - no typo there; the full-stop is really part of the title - seems to have sparked some interest from the start, and rightfully so, seeing that it's a collaboration between CLAMP and Madhouse. Awesome graphics, although it reminded me too much of Sakura and Syaoran...oh well, since Tsubasa came along, I guess I should've expected more crossovers in the CLAMP universe...

Others are a let down (Miracle Train, WHUT!!?? I'm avoiding you because your synopsis sounded dreadfully lame and shallow...). And I question if the promised anime-fied Winter Sonata will ever be shown, since they already planned to include it in the past season but it was never aired...I'm avoiding it too, if it ever comes out.

Anime!Bae Yong Jun wonders if he'll ever achieve the popularity equivalent to that of the real thing...

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Omedetou!!

Today, being a big day for Nadirah, I braved the unforgiving highway, pushing my poor car to his limits, in hopes to make it in time for Nadirah's engagement with zero speeding ticket acquired in the process...

Suffice to say, arriving safely in one piece, despite some obstacles along the way, made me thank God...




More pictures are posted in Facebook in relevant albums.

Congratulations to the two on their engagement! Praying for only the best in their future.

And for my other old friends - Dalila, Diyana, Liyana, and Izzati - nice meeting you guys after so long. Dalila, many thanks for the lovely birthday gift (me like!).

...And Mariani, I wished that you were around...

For future functions, be it engagements or weddings or firstborns, remember to send an invitation to lil' ol' me. Hee.

Current Music: again - Yui

KMAM Visit

Some pictures, most of them labeled with proper(?) description. Click here to download...

Non-academic pictures are not included. Also made available in my FB album.

Enjoy!

P/s: For Aimi, who requested for the poster at PKD...or anyone else who might be interested.

Sunday, October 04, 2009

火焔

They say to never play with fire.

In its petite form, we admire the beauty it glowers with, the warmth it radiates. It's what keeps us warm and fuzzy on cold nights, the light that illuminates us in the dark, the symbol of celebration as fireworks light up the dark sky in dazzling colours.

Fire can turn into foe in but a split second, reducing to ashes everything that dares to stand in its way, evolving into wildfire as it devours its unsuspecting prey.


It rises to the sky, majestic yet menacing, and we are reminded that there are some things that we cannot fight empty-handedly.

It's painful when the flame licks your outreached finger. With no luck, a scar marks the place as an unwanted memento of the experience.

The burning doesn't last indefinitely. When air is exhausted, the chemistry runs out, and the now timid flame breathes no more.

It leaves despair even after it is gone, the memories vivid, the aftermath real. The lingering smoke, thick and gloomy, can still suffocate.

Do we pick up the pieces on the charred ground and start anew? Or do we leave everything behind, running towards another light? Will that light promise a better outcome?

If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.

...Looks like distancing is the solution. I wonder how long it'll be until I become famished and malnourished though...

Current Music: Sweet Dreams - Beyonce

Friday, October 02, 2009

In Juxtaposition

Perhaps, one of the keys to happiness in this life - one of which is utter devotion to God - is the ability to live in harmony.

By harmony, I'm not merely referring to our external milieu, i.e. Being kind to our parents, friends and neighbours, or being one with nature, or making sure that each of your piece of clothing blends well with each other and agrees with you as a person.

Yes, the harmony within. No state of unrest that is completely full-blown, mind-boggling, emotionally unsound, physically crippling, which promises nothing but misery and turmoil.

And yet we know that things are created in pairs, and thus they - and whatever springs from them - also exists in pairs. He and she, black against white, good versus evil, yin and yang, right and wrong, up and down, Newton’s Third Law of Motion, sympathetic and parasympathetic, matter and antimatter...

...Order and Chaos.

It's like a game of tug of war, with you smacked dab right in the middle, entwined in an intricate web of circumstances, rendering you helpless and scarred.

No matter how you yearn for peace and order, it will be torn by havoc. It is the law of entropy.

It consumes energy and takes time to restore order.

It doesn't take long and much to blow everything into oblivion. Especially when the end is near, with you no longer have anything to fight with, or to press forward.

At that time, defeat is imminent.

It's the same with people. The good reputation one has laboured day and night to achieve and maintain can be history after one minor but disastrous slip up.

...frankly, I've grown tired of this, but the rational part of me insists that I should discard the irrational thoughts and tendencies. It doesn't accept "the soul is willing, but the flesh is weak" excuse anymore.

Meanwhile, the never ending conflict builds up...and I've a feeling the climax will go off with a bang.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Kanpai!!

May I say that, while I may not enjoy raya like most people, I really had fun two days ago?

It's not often that we old friends get together and...well, do stuff together. We each have our own paths to tread on, and it's nice to know that our separate paths still have several meeting points.



Although, it was a dismay that there were a few people missing. Please don't say that it's impossible to ever have a full house get-together episode!

...But we try. Somehow. Someday, if not today.

Current Music: Katayoku no Tori - Shikata Akiko

P/s: Doesn't look like I'll ever get in the mood to spam my FB account with pictures. Even those from long ago are still waiting to get uploaded...if at all. Sigh.

P/p/s: Looks like the time to spend is nigh, what with Avicenna starting to act up, and that graphic tablet still tempting me, and...well, a bunch of other things. Good God. I wonder if it has something to do with the duit raya coming in...?

Monday, September 21, 2009

Compilations #4

1. Raya is laborious for me. I believe I mentioned before how I can't really stomach nasi impit, but today I discovered that even finishing one ketupat takes, well, guts (pun intended). As for lemang, the most I could finish was _two_ slices. God, I can't even tolerate the staple food of this country...and yet I would gladly finish the rice they use in sushi rolls...Sigh.

2. Perhaps the issue of nasi impit-lemang-ketupat "intolerance" is also attributed to the side dishes...

3. Thank God, tomorrow has no long trips in store for us.

4. If only I could get down to drawing already. Letting these so-called ideas floating around in my mind doesn't seem to allow me to focus on more important things...

5. Is it okay if I just let the notifications in my FB pile up, since I'm too lazy to log in and stuff? I mean, I met an old schoolmate by chance this morning, and although she's in my FB friends list, I can't remember much about her aside from her face, her name and how she was in school back in those days!? Granted, it is partly my fault for not keeping up to date...Oh, well...

6. Am craving Subway's sandwich. Argh.

Current Music: again - Yui

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Come and Go

Some come while others go. Similarly like the passing time - when the present is here, the past is left behind, and future slips in eventually.

In other words: With Ramadhan leaving us and the arrival of Syawal, Happy 'Eid, people. My sincere apologies for my mistakes, deliberate ones or no. May God bless y'all.

Short entry is short - for a very good reason. Am probably going to turn in early, in preparation for a busy and hectic(?) day tomorrow.

Note to self: Go easy on the food...because some of them are a big no-no for very good reasons...

Current Music: Her Diamonds - Rob Thomas

Monday, September 07, 2009

Family Medicine: Not-So Final Impressions...and Then Some

Undoubtedly, nobody would argue if I were to say that Family Medicine is an eye-opener.

People coming from different walks of life, each with his or her own story to tell. Some live dreadfully tragic lives that we never could have imagined plausible on this Earth. A handful may even have stories that could give Hollywood directors a run for their money.

But being posted in a government hospital and government clinic, more often than not we students encounter those ranging from the middle class and below.

Occasionally what we have the chance of witnessing is not a pretty sight.

Sunday, September 06, 2009

Compilations #3

Seriously, nothing worth reading will follow from this point.

1. Am already starting to miss Family Medicine. That's not to say that I'll be willing to do it for remedial though (Heaven forbid!), because I've got other plans. Hmm.

2. This, I need want.


When I saw it in real life, the price tag of RM400 was tempting. I mean, it's more or less priced the same as a handphone! *flails*
God Knows I can't be splurging now, of all times. There's this fear of eventually losing interest in the item after a certain time, and it'll be buried somewhere among my other things, perhaps not forgotten, but definitely collecting dust.
It's difficult when there are so many things that I want to explore, just to expand my hobbies and capabilities, but the time factor seems to be lacking...Sigh.

3. I can't believe I went ahead and defied what I used to obey-oh-so-dumbly. I guess the time to say "That's it, I'm sick of all this stupidity!" has finally arrived. Hee.
Still, I pray to God everything will go well...

4. Umineko no Naku Koro Ni, yes! I am pleased. Now all it needs is downloading...

5. Goodness gracious me, all the notifications that await me while I abstain neglect my Facebook account shows that I miss a lot. Not that I'll be upping my activity there, though...because other webpages are calling out for me.

6. It hurts when one is unable to express one's deepest desires freely.

Current Music: If Today was Your Last Day - Nickelback

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Compilations #2

1. It's all about perspective. However, humans being humans, we're bound to have different interpretations of the same incident.
At times there is no meaning in trying to correct any misunderstanding - as long as it doesn't result in a more tangled predicament. It's a waste of time and effort.
Likewise, why bother giving meaning to something so trivial? We might have been barking up the wrong tree all along.

2. No man is an island. Or woman, for that matter.
That's why, even when we've tried our best - either in staying out of people's way or striving to be a better person than yesterday - there's no guarantee that everything will be peachy for us.
...Then it's back to the basic question - what _was_ our deepest intention in doing good in the first place?
Give a correct answer, and a greater reward awaits thee, sooner or later.

3. Case write up. Tsk tsk. I wonder when I'll actually finish it for real...

4. Doppelgängers can be terrifying. Imagine seeing someone on television who looked like someone you knew - except that the former was more of a past rendition of the latter.
For me, while it could have been a pleasant sight...it wasn't. Partly because I'd rather not be reminded of it.

Current Music: Goodbye - Kristinia Debarge

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Stranded

One of the five Giant I's in geriatrics - in which the decline of one element may very well be the impetus to bring the rest down along with it like a row of dominoes - is immobility.

Granted, that is when we are talking about the elderly. As for us, the younger generation, it's all about seeing the world and not remaining in one place for far too long, either for fear of boredom or of the danger of being branded as a narrow-minded simpleton. Unless you're a hermit, an antisocial, or a proud hikikomori, then whatever common law for the rest of the Homo sapien automatically does not apply.

Seneca _did_ say that "man is a social animal" - which explains why being imprisoned, or isolated from the rest of the people, is a punishment that can be unbearable. It puts a strain on one of our basic tendencies; to interact, to move around freely.

Keyword here is 'freely'.

I remember one saying about what constitutes the best government; It is the one that "governs the least". In other words, it should not put too many absurdly stringent rules that serve no other purpose than for them to flaunt their power and giving their subjects bad cases of migraine or hypertension. As such, it puts a limit to creativity. It creates a hostile environment, in which there only exist hatred and resentment, both of which may raise exponentially faster than you can diagnose the crux of the matter to reverse the damage.

When everyone is thrown into the chaos, even those who have done no wrong will get affected. And it's not like every single person who did wrong did so intentionally.

When common sense is considered an endangered species, too many things can go haywire with no solution in sight.

When it's all about "Me" and no "You", there is no place for "Us" anywhere in the equation.

When morality is extinct, humanity disappears with it.

Current Music: Hi no Hikari Sae Todokanai Kono Basho de - Miyavi featuring Sugizo

P/s: ...No, I'm not talking about the government of the country. Rather, it's a bit closer to us students. Go figure. Sigh.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Tick Tock

It's here again.

The time for us to control one of our most innate desires, to prove that Gluttony has no place within us. The time to shave off some of those unnecessary mass that we carry around as fat and the living testimony of our sedentary lifestyle that we are so used to. The time to augment our patience despite the trials and tribulations that lie ahead. The time to restrain ourselves from the superficial pleasures this world offers that has little to no weight in our afterlives. The time to focus our body and soul on what is truly important.

The time for us to nurture ourselves into better human beings, to serve Him and the people as a whole.

Because whatever good deeds that we dedicate to Him, in turn, is for the greater good.

In the end what is our aim? Jubilation in this life and the next.

Happy Ramadhan and happy fasting, people.

Current Music: Chain - Back-On

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

A Tempest in A Teapot

Quoting Dr. S, “I feel calm when I sacrifice”.

If there is one thing that I could conclude during these few days, it’s that some people, despite their pleasant exterior, are capable of being anything but. One Malay proverb of never to assume that still water has no crocodiles lurking within describes this nicely.

May I say that I have anticipated as much? Or is it just my tendency to presume the worst in anything I figured could go wrong? It’s like the calm before the storm – while everything appears to be tip-top superficially, unknown to some people – those who remain ignorant or willingly assume such position – there is a great battle raging on beneath it all.

I really don’t want to say it’s a racial thing, because the last thing I want is to be accused of racism – something that is a huge no-no in this country, where sensitive issues are abundant and peace is hanging by a worn-out thread, more or less like an egg on the tip of a horn.

(Except that in this country, I think there is more than one horn that is waiting to pierce through the already delicate eggshell, breaking it into pieces, and making a huge mess out of everything...)

Besides, I’d rather stay in this confounded university and study instead of being detained in the ISA, thankyouverymuch…

Back to the present issue. I may exaggerate, but this raging storm surrounding us may very well affect the future of several parties – our own, the department, our juniors, and the clinic. We medical students leave an impact wherever we go, and not necessarily in a good way *snicker*. I guess our position as being in the eye of the storm, where the calm may be ending anytime soon, is in fact seen (erroneously?) as the integral part of the problem. Being accused of staying in the room instead of helping out the nurses seem unfair, especially since we are obviously seen as going around and meddling asking the nurses and other medical assistants in the clinic several favours just to get patients to clerk and performing things required in the logbook.

Why must things go this way?

I don’t know. My groupmates don’t know. Only God Knows.

Are we seriously a bunch of troublemakers that cannot resist stirring up controversies wherever we go? Are we that inane that our mere presence reeks of unbearable foulness?

Prejudice can be hard to get rid of. I can’t cry foul over unjust generalized sentiments towards us, but honestly, while I do understand that their work is complicated enough that entertaining us medical students can be an unnecessary burden to them, allow me to say that the last thing I want is to hamper their work, because patients always come first.

So do we resort to what Dr. S had said – we sacrifice? That’s what life is about anyhow…sacrificing for the greater good.

Personally I see myself as a pacifist, but at times, I don’t want to go down without a fight, especially when I see injustice at work.

Do we take a stand, or run away from the source of the problem? What are the criteria to decide whether to fight or to take flight? If neither of the two is fulfilled, what else is our option?

…What am I saying? The only thing that could come before patients – that is, something other than divine intervention – is politics…and I mean that in every sense of the word.

Current Music: Storm – Gackt Camui

P/s: The title merely refers to great anger or excitement over a trivial matter. Although Dr. S would be using the glass versus the lake analogy…

Friday, August 14, 2009

Scenic

New discovery: Photography isn't so bad. Recalling the sweet events of yesterday's main side-programme (the secondary side-programme involved stuffing ourselves with loads of keropok lekor, and I must say that the keropok lekor in Terengganu holds a special place relative to other keropok lekors in my heart), I realised that it was almost automatic that I whipped out my PDA - Hidenori-kun - out from the safe confinement my bag had provided him with, and started gathering pieces of the wonderfully photogenic scenes around me with clicks of the button.

I mean, there were other cameras to capture people amidst the panoramic view, but I wanted the _feel_ of the place - majestic, enveloping the people within, but at the same time, warm and welcoming. The calming effect of various shades of lush green amidst the spectrum of sky blue backdrop, with tints of shadows where the lights hover tentatively with the occasional breath of wind, and solid, brown wood of the trees and woodwork.


I've always adored waterfalls, perhaps attributed to how the water appears to be lively and makes a bold statement in its own wordless way, but this is classic. It is a physical embodiment of paradox - in which, in spite of the harsh sound of the collision as the falling water joins its other self, there remains lingering traces of calmness around it.







Would it be too far off to say it's a chance to be one with nature, to enjoy her in her simple yet exquisite beauty, after ages of being surrounded in metal and steel, imprisoned in the concrete jungle and pillars of iron poles?

...It gave a soothing effect after a momentary period of discontent from being confronted with the less than fortunate - a fact that life in this world can be indescribably rough.

Yes, it was so worth it to come out into the open air, despite the short episode of drizzle and fears of falling ill from deliberate exposure to it upon our arrival.

Still, my only regret was to have accidentally left my camera Renji-kun behind, despite several times reminding myself to bring him along.

Other pictures - inclusive of us, the people! - can be found in Facebook (where else?) in relevant albums.

Current Music: milky way - P'UNK~en~Ciel

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Family Medicine: First(?) Impressions

Perhaps it is not too late to have first impressions in the second week into the posting.

1. It has a certain warm feeling to it. I suppose it should, since we _are_ talking about patient-centred approach.

2. No thanks to H1N1, the number of our field visits will likely be reduced. This doesn't stop the Community Medicine group from their Ulu Tembeling trip...

3. Thanks to H1N1, we're presented with how the public health people deal with such pandemic. The polyclinic I was posted in was crowded with so many people coming with Influenza-like Illness. Notwithstanding, chronic cases like Diabetes Mellitus & Hypertension were (are?) aplenty...

4. Patient's compliance? With some people, you'll have more luck making rocks bleed.

5. Role-play. Summary: I've too much formality and no empathy. Tsk.

6. Today's geriatric visit in Dungun. Maybe it is a misnomer, since there were a handful of those whom you might not regard as elderly...
Suffice to say, it opened my eyes - that those unfortunate are not few in numbers. So really, we have every reason to be thankful with what we already owned...
Bukit Besi was a nice place to stop for our side-programme. Now I see why there are those who enjoy photography so much...

7. Am presently contemplating whether I should return home for the weekend or not, since it's one weekend in which Saturday will be free from any class...

8. ...Internet connection, why so unreliable!?

Current Music: Smile Ichiban Ii Onna - An Cafe

Saturday, August 08, 2009

The Blame Game

Sometimes it is only too easy to raise that accusing finger and point the blame at someone. So easy, that most of us resort to this way without skipping a beat. Like it's purely reflex, ingrained deep within us, essentially an inherent read-only programme which not many can rewrite without much toiling.

Blaming takes guts. It might involve getting in others' bad books, but it may or may not taint the blamer's own conscience. It may be an ego defense mechanism - albeit an immature or neurotic one - but it's not one that anybody can be proud of.

It goes without saying that it takes more guts to just admit one's own mistakes, and try to rectify the situation rather than busying oneself with finding a scapegoat.

Blindly, or even half-blindly, blaming others may stem from one's ignorance, one's lack of understanding of the matter. In cases of accusing people for what they did in relation to their personality or intelligence, could we safely say that, had we been in the person's shoes, we would never have committed the same mistake?

We are shaped by our pasts and our tendencies, our habits. We are who we are not only because of our external appearances, but also how we would react, verbally or in our actions, to a given situation. As such, it may involve conditioning - in which, when confronted with something that resembles something from our past, we tend to respond more or less the same way or, had we learnt a lesson, in a different manner. Because life is a series of lessons and quizzes, rather than just one major exam after certain intervals.

Our past is like a collection of baggage that we continue to drag as we tread this winding road we call Life. Some may fall out of our carriage whether deliberately or not, some are tightly locked, bound to our being - akin to scars that can't be erased, or those that become hideous keloids, perpetually haunting and traumatising us. It depends on what we'd do to these - whether we walk on strong-willed, holding our head high, or we choose to huddle, to shrink in one corner to sob like everything is futile, like we've reached the screen that reads 'Game Over' with no option for 'New Game' or 'Resume Last Saved'.

Depending on one's own coping mechanism, one may rise with glory or one may fall into wretchedness. There may be an inherent machinery within that gives a rough idea on how to respond, to survive. Is there any wonder that two biological siblings living under the same roof may grow up to become different, despite some similarities? Is there any wonder that children do not take after their parents totally? Is there any wonder that even the closest friends who claim to share the same interests can still bicker like selfish prats?

That said, I'd say it's only fair for one to blame another only if the former is well-acquainted with the latter's unjustified destructive nature. Even so, there is a limit as to how mad one should be, I guess.

Which brings us to another question - how much should we know?

Saturday, August 01, 2009

Ureshii Ver. 2.0

This will be (relatively) short, I promise.

1. After a grievous loss roughly 2 weeks ago, today I am finally blessed with his replacement, whom I shall dub [EDIT] Subaru-kun Hidenori-kun[/EDIT]. While it may not match up to the late Tatsuma II in terms of price and specifications, I must say that I am still content ♥, and truthfully, I don't need the HTC Touch Diamond2 specifically to be elated. Frankly, I didn't really listen to the FM radio in the deceased anyway - the one time I did attempt to use the feature was met with less than tolerable results. (So if I am ever in a dire need for a radio and I am nowhere near my car, I shall make use of Hakushio - providing I've brought him along).
Presently, am trying to get the hang & feel of [EDIT] Subaru Hidenori-kun...and perhaps move on from mourning over Tatsuma II for good.

2. This coming Monday marks the beginning of Family Medicine. Really!? Does this mean I need to get back to all my Internal Medicine stuff, assuming I'll be able to dig them up from...wherever it was I chucked my "To Be Used Later - If At All" items?

3. Thankfully, the issue of where and what we are to do during our Elective block is rather settled. I say rather, because it won't be much of a breeze. And, fortunately(!?), it's not going to be in IJN...

4. Forensics practical. Both the time and place that I wanted. Rejoice!

5. Psychiatry exam yesterday morning. I was thinking, like, "Where was Freud? There wasn't any question on Freud? WHAT?!" - not that I've a single speck of confidence in terms of my results...

6. We survived the trip from Kuantan to KL yesterday, despite the odds. So many people were willing to help for no cost at all. There's hope for humanity after all! ♥

Current Music: World is Mine - Hatsune Miku

Friday, July 24, 2009

Ureshii

Would you know true happiness if it were staring right at you in the face? If it manifests itself as bubbles and sparkles all around you, accompanied by the sensation of walking on air?

Would it be true happiness if it were temporary, like a fleeting petal that later on falls to the ground, eventually covered in dirt and grimes?

Is it felt as a sense of fulfillment, a sense of achievement?

Or is it the assurance that there will always be something - or someone - to fall back to, when everything else fails?

Current Music: Apologize - Kris Allen (cover)

Thursday, July 23, 2009

On that Intangibly Thin Ice

One example of the things that have been bothering me since we started our Introduction to Psychiatry, is how the range of normality can be all too microscopic.

Too happy, you're labelled as a manic. Too depressed, they'll be diagnosing you as having major depressive disorder. Too crazy, you're deemed psychotic (God Forbid!) and you'll be strapped tightly and will be on your merry way to the nearest psychiatric ward, free of charge. Not crazy enough, and they'll give you "neurosis" or some other disorders.
Because we are human beings, generally speaking, our emotions and moods fluctuate. Fluctuate too much, we'll get cyclothymia. Swing too far into both of the extremes, that's bipolar. Zero emotions? Blunting or flattening of mood.

Roughly two years ago, I'd admit without a second thought that I absolutely adore Psychology. Ask me now, and I'm not sure if I can say that I like Psychiatry with much fervour anymore.

Maybe it's because I simply prefer learning the theories in the pre-clinical years than the practical aspect we're made to perform starting our third year in med school.

Maybe it's the fear of seeing psychiatric patients in the flesh and standing within their reach. Maybe it's the tons of different criteria to remember for different disorders and diseases. Maybe it's how things may, at times, appear to be far too subjective for one to derive proper diagnoses and conclusions. Maybe it's the discomfort of knowing that the lecturers in the department might be picking up some personal quirks and finding them rather suggestive of certain disorders, and then arranging some psychiatric help before one could become aware much less protest against.

...Or, maybe, it's the utter devastation of knowing that there is some probability of falling headfirst into the dark and endless chasm of instability, knowing how close one is to the edge, what with a myriad of unhealthy and possibly disturbing notions already toying with one's mind and bent on crushing one's self-control.

Current Music: Battlefield - Jordin Sparks

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Lost

They always say never to take things for granted.

There is something so unforgivable when one is unable to correct a pattern that one has found to be utterly incongruous, utterly destructive to one's own being.

Here's the typical cycle; Owing to the oh-too-persuasive nature of marketing, we are tempted only too easily to own what may not be anywhere in our list of necessary items to purchase. Since - to some selected people - money is not too much of an issue, or that the item itself overshadows whatever doubts that we might have at first, we go ahead, denying the little voice in our head that reminds us that there is no turning back, and we happily go home with our newly purchased thing.

So at first our enthusiasm level towards it runs high. We gaze lovingly at it, we utilise it during each opportunity that comes by, we truly appreciate and treasure it for what it is.

Then the turning point comes right at us.

We start taking it easy. We become swayed in that we turn twice to look at newer things that, in essence, is similar to one already in our possession, although the former is more advanced. I guess it's akin to infidelity. Still, we start to yearn for the new.

As we continue our daily lives, there would be days when things go wrong in all sorts of ways. And when we least expected it, in a split second, a minor slip up leads to a disastrous consequence.

We turn and words fail us when the truth has hit us hard.

Desperate for things to return to how they once were, we try to resuscitate the poor belonging, hoping against hope, praying for that sliver of hope to shine through, for it to survive. Maybe a promise of never ever discarding it crosses our hearts. And regret tears away our conscience, our placid air.

It tries to break away from the web of death, but it's a little too late - no matter how we see it, it's already as good as gone.

...But we hold on to our self-control, our faith. Because God has great plans, and He Knows all. He has decided that it was time for it to leave you. Whether He will replace it with a better candidate, that remains to be proven.

He always has His reasons, and we always have our excuses. We are in a constant need to remember Him, and that He continuously tries our faith in Him. It is, after all, His Right upon us.

Farewell, mon cher. Thou hast served us well, and I could only offer you my utmost apologies for being such an ignoramus.

Current Music: mind as Judgment (TV Ver.) - Faylan

P/s: *insert appropriate background music* I'm in despair! The tendency to assume things has left me in despair! *cringe*

P/p/s: *longing gaze at HTC* *sigh*

Saturday, July 18, 2009

ABCDEFG

The 7 alphabets stand for:(A & Abuse) + Bowling + (Camera & Chill out) + Dinner + Eating + Friends + Gifts.

Otherwise known in its longer title: "The Day Group A Chills Out by playing Bowling, Eating Dinner and Exchanging Gifts like Friends do, and Renji gets Abused amidst it all (but what else is a Camera expected to do?)"

July 14th, Tuesday. 5.00pm at the bowling lanes...

Before the ball starts rolling and the pins fall...


...And after the battle.


...and at 8.00pm, at Tanjung Lumpur.

Our 4-member-Parliament in session (although Nazhiyah was MIA i.e. attending a meeting). This time around, the agenda was only to eat...no issues to be discussed. Alas(?).

Your two faithful morning talk show hosts, who talk about almost anything from history, politics, flags to ice creams...only, the discussions took place during the morning drive to the hospital.

Group A2 of Surgical Posting, who suffered together during long and short cases, through thick and thin. Absent: Iman & Awis.

The ladies of the Group. Absent: Iman, Nazhiyah, Lyana & Solehah. For some reason the pictures of the guys didn't turn up so well...

More pictures in others' and my albums in our respective Facebook pages.

So ends a wondrous year. I suppose we all managed to get along in the end, despite the occasional thunderstorms and bickerings. But that's life for you.

...A nice change of mood from all the rants that this blog is so full of, I must admit.

Current Music: Natsukoi - SID

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Reversals and Regressions

I have not been updating lately because – in addition to the Internet connection being a real pain since five days ago - I have been somewhat at a loss for words.

The reason? I was - and still am - appalled with the state of things as they are right now.

Most may say that I am keen about politics. That I like politics. On the contrary, it's the complete opposite; I abhor the system, the over-the-top controversies and allegations, the politicians' stupid antics and the dumb decisions that they make.

Yes, I am referring to their unthinkable decision of reverting to the mother tongue for the teachings of Science and Mathematics. The main argument for the verdict is that the rural students were too far left behind in their achievements compared to their urban counterpart, attributed to the former's lack of proficiency in English.

I dare not deny that. But what irked me was that the government screwed up big time 6 years ago when they got over-excited about the idea, and when things did not turn out the way they had planned, they have the unmitigated gall of committing a graver mistake of going back - which brings us as a nation backwards. And they owe their guinea pigs an apology.

I vaguely remember that the issue of doing it in English 6 years ago stemmed at a time when there was another hot issue going on. I suspect that it was to diverge the attention of the people from the latter - although what it was exactly escapes me at the moment. Of course, of that I may be wrong, perhaps there was no rival issue, but the truth remains - the Malays get over-excited too easily, and that everything is politically motivated.

[Not too off-topic] I don't care about this 1Malaysia the PM is trying to pull. I'll just keep quiet about it and see if it ever produces a positive outcome. I guess every PM needs to have a 'project' that is their trademark; Tun Dr. M has his Vision 2020 (...) amongst other things in the span of 22 years he helmed the PM seat, Tun Pak Lah his Islam Hadhari (*grimaces*), and so Najib just followed suit (*gags*).[/Not too off-topic]

*Facepalm*

The fact that English is the main language in which knowledge is disseminated in cannot be refuted. As much as some people may hate to admit it, nobody can deny that the latest discoveries and advancements are mostly from the English-speaking (primarily or secondarily) Westerners. Sure, one may erupt into an angry tirade of "going back to the glory during the old Islamic civilisation", but please, I beg of thee - be realistic. The Malays can't proclaim our own language as the lingua franca of the present time - and as long as we are less worthy, falling out of the competition owing to our own delay in acquiring, implementing or developing whatever knowledge already known to man, who are we to insist for such privilege? Note that this point clearly cancels out the Japan-is-technology-savvy-but-they-still-speak-zero-English argument; If the Malays - or Malaysians as a whole - are capable of half the competitive edge the Japanese are dishing out, then we can start teaching the two subjects in Malay.

The crux of the problem, in addition to the Malays' tak apa attitude and knee-jerk reactions, which the government totally overlooked back then, was that the state of English was sub-par at best, and abysmal at worst. The Ministry of Education should have first assessed whether the nation was ready for the 180° of change, and if it wasn't, the students and teachers alike - in short, the learning environment - should have been carefully and ingeniously steered towards an English-savvy one. Without the evaluation, it's like forcing a crawling toddler to sprint.
And I'm not just talking about the courses the teachers had to attend, because there's more to changing an education system than courses. Was the English syllabus reviewed and revamped? Were the teachers convinced and capable of performing up to the task? Were the students open to the idea of embracing a foreign language - one deemed as coming from "those greedy, unjust conquerers of yore" - and making it part of their communications, part of their lives?

It was all done wrong. While the aim was clearly praiseworthy, the execution was anything but.

What's the implication of the recent reversal? Now the Malays will never see how important English is. They'll be misled with the notion that they'll be safe now that it's back in Malay, so why bother with English? In the meantime, while they are lulled into a false sense of security, the Chinese and Indians will continue striving in their English - because they generally speak more English than the Malays do. The result? The Malays will be left several decades behind, that nothing more can be done. That's when things get really ugly, when the so-called bumiputera, the natives are doomed on their own soils, in their own country.

All because of their stubborn ego, and refusal to change their ways despite been proven inadequate.

Personally, in regards to my own history as a student, I didn't have much of a problem - which might make my view on the matter as over-simplistic or biased, even. I was taught in Malay in both primary and secondary school years, then in English during matriculation, and even until now when I am a university student. The shift was not too troublesome because, coming from an urban background and a family that recognises the importance of English itself as well as a school that glorifies the language, Science and Maths were not too alien-sounding to me in English. Sure, we joked with the literal translations all the time, but in the end, we were taught of what we should know - in Malay. When the government announced they were switching the medium of teaching, at a time when our batch was left out of the change, I was jealous.

And when we entered matrics, everyone knew that to have poor command of English is equivalent to being handicapped. Regrets set in. What good is there when our brains are full of brilliant ideas and great knowledge, and yet when we open our mouths, our speech appears disjointed and meek, and we speak no more eloquently and intelligently than a three year old?

The government should have just retained PPSMI, and complement it with English-enhancing plans. It'll probably save the country from a big hole in their budget.

...Although, I question if the huge amount of money they planned to use to improve the English syllabus and methods of teaching - [EDIT]RM6 million, was it? RM4-6 billion, according to 'Izzah [/EDIT] - would be enough to bring a paradigm shift into the Malay thinking and attitudes.

Current Music: I Hate This Part Right Here - PCD

P/s: There’ll be a short continuation pertaining to this later on, most probably with the heading of “(Malaysian) Politicians Say the Darnest Things Ever”…an example of which almost makes Sarah Palin sound smarter. Almost.

P/
p/s: I actually finished a comic strip for this, but because the connection is not being cooperative in any sense of the word, it will have to wait. Just keep an eye for any updates in my other blog, if you're interested. Hee.

Friday, July 03, 2009

Of Questions & Answers

One way of seeing it, there are two types of questions: Those that seek answers, and those that do not. The latter is called as a rhetorical question.

Rhetorics serve to bring an intended ambience as the background of one's speech. Used awfully a lot in (political) speeches and debates, they ask the painfully obvious - such as "Do we want to see the day our own children live in fear?" or "Do we need another wave of corruptions seeded by Mr. So-and-so?" - and the audience, depending on their level of enthusiasm and consciousness, may feel compelled to shout or mumble out their answers.

Rhetorical questions remind the speaker and the listener that the communication is, in fact, two-ways. Thus the listener's attention is returned to the topic at hand if s/he happened to be straying, and the speaker gets a false feeling that he is not talking to himself and that his listener is still with him.

Continuing on. There are, generally speaking, three types of answers - the correct, the wrong, and the inbetween ('coz life isn't always black and white).

...So what do you say - or expected to say - in response to a rhetorical question that is meant to lighten up the mood? Would you go with a straight "yes" or "no" answer (regardless of your knowledge on the matter) or an inbetween answer?

...I hope to God I didn't sound like a smart aleck in giving my two cents. I probably should have said something safer like "What is routinely done?" (although some people might get irked in getting another question instead of a proper answer...).

...I hope she's not suffering too much because of what I had suggested.

...I _think_ he was not offended.

...I _really_ need to concentrate on the happy bits instead of lamenting too much on the hiccups, which possibly could be nothing at all.

*Headdesk*

Current Music: Kimi ni Negai wo - Miyavi

P/s: Gosh, starting Year 4 in Community Medicine? Ah, well, at least it's not Orthopedics... Hopefully it'll be a nice ride, under the surveillance and guidance of Mrs. Boss-dude, and I'll finally(?) be able to study like a good student should be...haha.

P/p/s: Photoshop = major headache. Why, oh, WHY!!??

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Of Age, Language, and the Net

Saying things like "Age is finally catching up to me" would be terribly unbecoming at this point in my life.

At my age, I can't say that I've seen much of the world. And yet, no thanks to the media, we probably have seen and heard quite a lot - including those that we'd rather not know of (useless stock of data, anyone?). But because the Net allows me to focus on _what_ I'd rather dive into, and because my span of interest may not even cover my front lawn (i.e., not too much?), I can safely say that there remains a huge part of the world today and yesterday that I am oblivious to.

I've been meaning to check up on the Iranian election issues, but the bloodshed and violence rather deterred me. The local news provide nothing but absurdities that they're not even funny anymore. Influenza A(H1N1) continues to be one of the main headlines, that maybe dengue fever is no longer receiving the attention it deserves (competition!?). MJ's sudden departure and the accompanying loss to the world/music industry/insert-random-person's-life-here. And a bunch of other stuff...

On a more personal level, I've been frequenting a page that I used to visit around 4, 5 years ago. Sharing a common interest, I joined a community to fulfill my daily doses of my interests...and generally speaking, my stay is very rewarding. But upon reading the posts...well, some things send me frowning.

Before, it was simple smileys (now upgraded to be called "emoticons") that only required tilting one's head in an appropriate angle to make sense of what the writer wanted to convey. Over time it grew, to include huge smile with varying eye expressions (ranging from ":D" to "XD" and to the more extreme "XDDDDD" and the Japanese's "wwwww"). Then the eyes could get bigger ("8D") and...well, a bunch of other symbols followed...

There's the deliberate misspelling (an English teacher's nightmare?). "The" effortlessly becomes "teh", "owned" becomes "pwned". Not forgetting a handful of Internet terms that may rival Latin: phrases like "for the win", "leet", "trollz"...and the list goes on.

But the problem lies in the abbreviations.

The typical "LOL", "IMO", "BRB" and "OMG" were easy to begin with. Then four-lettered abbreviations like "TYVM", "IMAO", "ROFL"...and at the same time, three-lettered continued to grow. Notwithstanding, five and more also appeared faster than you can say "ZOMGpwnage!!! IDKWTHbtAFAIKTMIOHNOES!!!".

...Cough.

The above were not too bad because there could be references like this one somewhere in the corner of the Net. Imagine my surprise when I came across things that my brain could never recognise much less regard as logical in any sense of the word, such as "sfhjgsasj", "dkjfg", "DKJSLJF", "fna;dsfknsdf;;nfds!"...

...My first interpretation of such string of letters is that the writer, amidst her/his uber-excitement, lost control over her/his fingers and continued to type something that is not internationally known/identified as English...
That, or something fell and rolled over the keyboard.

Sigh.

Maybe I _am_ getting too old for the Net. I don't understand what the younger generation says anymore. Communication failure, ka?

TBC in a different title, most likely. Because I still need to properly understand what "kink meme" actually means, although I _suppose_ I already got the general idea of what "meme" is supposed to be...

Current Music: Itoshiki Nozomu - Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei OST

P/s: God, I need to re-study my Photoshop. What good is there when [ADVERTISEMENT] I've finished a comic strip for ][ impetus ][ but I can't get the dialogue bubbles to work properly? Still, I'll try to get it to work and post the thingy by Friday before the story runs stale, despite my preoccupation with some other stuff...Tsk. [/ADVERTISEMENT]

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Shameless Plug

Finally, a long overdue project of mine which has been bugging me to get it started has completed Phase I. I present to thee, my webcomic blog - also known as my pseudo-art-dump blog.

][ impetus ][


That's where I'll be posting my least controversial(?) doodles/graffiti/etc. It'll be irregularly updated, that's for sure, because these things depend on a lot of factors: time, energy, issues, presence of a scanner, the ambience, and coffee overdose.

...Over-expression at its worst? Maybe. God Help us all.

Current Music: Hi no Izuru Kuni, Zipang (Instrumental ver.)

 
template by freebloggerdesigns.blogspot.com flower brushes by gvalkyrie.deviantart.com