Lost

This world is becoming uglier by the minute. Thieves, hypocrites and selfish people roam free, preying on the little people. It is scary.

 I swear to God I'll never forget the thief who stole my precious iPad. I pray that a miserable death awaits this perpetrator.  

Current Music: Maps - Maroon Five

Intermission #26

I am impressed. There is a newly opened Apple Store in ECM, and one of the employees there actually answered my enquiries well.

Though the question remains - Why didn't they open sooner, and not now when I'm already done with Kuantan!?

Current Music: Oasis - Gackt Camui

I, Fangirl

Contrary to popular belief, fangirling is a serious business.

There are not many things that excite me as much as the next person. I rarely follow TV series or even movies. Perhaps it's just how I was brought up - the TV wasn't my companion until after SPM.

I kind of think that my childhood is trying to get back at me. The level of fangirling I do for anime, Japanese RPGs etc is insane. Which is followed closely by Apple computers.

And so it is with open arms that I welcome the latest addition to my gadget collections. Affectionately named Avicenna II, it serves as a reminder to his predecessor, my very first Apple iBook.

Alhamdulillah.

This is not an advertisement for Apple. Really.
Clockwise: Mac Mini (Miki), iPod Shuffle, MacBook Pro (Avicenna II), iBook (Avicenna I), Apple keyboard & Apple mouse.

Honestly though - even now I question the necessity in owning a MacBook Pro when my iBook is still breathing (...) and alive, albeit some hardware problems which will be troublesome at times of desperate need. I actually considered getting a Windows netbook to complement Mac OS as a means to increase compatibility, but I had to hack the idea since I couldn't shake the notion of reverting to Windows. Besides, other family members are using Windows, so I'll have to even the numbers. Be the odd one out.

So as I type this entry using Avicenna II, I wonder if mankind's quest for gadgets will prove to be a never-ending and, ultimately, forever unfulfilling unless temporarily.

...Now I just need to get my PSP back working. The system crashed a couple of weeks ago, so I couldn't get started with Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep and even my Persona 3 Portable.

What's worse? Apparently Square Enix announced a new Final Fantasy title - FF Type 0, formerly planned to be FF Agito XIII - to be released in Japan this summer. Materialistic much? Or am I just unhealthily obsessed?

Intermission #21

It is part of the Mercy of Allah that thou dost deal gently with them Wert thou severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about thee: so pass over (Their faults), and ask for ((Allah)'s) forgiveness for them; and consult them in affairs (of moment). Then, when thou hast Taken a decision put thy trust in Allah. For Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him). (3:159)
If Allah helps you, none can overcome you: If He forsakes you, who is there, after that, that can help you? in Allah, then, Let believers put their trust. (3:160)

1. I like to think that one of my fortes is sarcasm (Not exactly something worth bragging about, I agree...). Maybe it's just my way of letting it out without employing a loud tone of voice, but while I have many opportunities to put this into practice, I rarely do, for fear of:

• sounding like an arrogant know-it-all (...)
• accused of being rude (...some people tend to accuse more easily than the general population...)
• the listener not understanding the sarcasm, which kind of defeats the purpose. Dang.

Or, maybe, it's just my style of humour - which people don't always get, which sort of results in my unwillingness to mix around much. That, and that catering to people exhausts me greatly.
(On a somewhat unrelated note - I'm starting to think that 'humour' as an ego defense mechanism should not be put as a mature defense mechanism. It belittles the gravity of the situation - isn't that akin to denial itself?! And some people push the jokes a bit too far...it starts to get irritating. And offensive.)
Perhaps I should start becoming more silent. That way people may not misunderstand me much, it reduces the risk of inadvertently offending anyone else - and it probably helps in that what I say rarely bears any impact anyhow.
...Thank God for blogs though.

2. "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves" ~ Carl Gustav Jung.

If I appear to be colder and more labile these days, I apologise. It dawned on me that with some people it gets more difficult to tolerate them and their antics...and so I might have accidentally 'displaced' any displeasure I have towards them on some other poor innocent souls.
Or...it could be the stress. Now with regards to the time, one can only say "OMG Final Pro is just next month, OMG!!".

3. Avicenna's keyboard is acting up. The cursor appears in odd places and starts to insert the text I'm typing into other words. What the flipping heck, Apple!
Yeah. Time for a new laptop. A MacBook, no less. Sigh.

4. The manga Meitantei Conan is finally back on track - somewhat. It's about time too! Besides, I need more Okiya!

5. "The world is a crazy place. And sometimes that craziness infects us. Sometimes it makes us a little crazy too" ~ Anonymous (snagged from Tumblr)

I'm the kind who is in tune with my psyche and aims to achieve harmony with my surroundings. But with the...turbulent state of things, I can safely say that it's nigh impossible to achieve this task.
The heart can only take so much before breaking. Maybe because it's never meant to take up too much burden. But with the Internet, with the information overload (useless and useful data notwithstanding), it seems that ignorance is bliss after all, when applied correctly...

Maybe I should move away to someplace else, where people can act more rationally instead of just resorting to the excuse of "other people hexing others using supernatural means"...and the delusion that just because one has Google or the Internet in your laptop/computer/iPhone/PDA/tablet, you're as good as a specialist in that area.

...I wonder if such a place actually exists, or is it just an idealist's unattainable Utopia?

Current Music: Redemption - Gackt Camui

Content

Thank God. Thank You, dear God, for putting my rumbling heart to rest. Hopefully this shall be a valuable lesson so that there will be no repetition to this...idiocy.

But the journey ahead does not necessarily promise ease. Putrajaya next week - hopefully we shall be greeted with little trouble, because seriously now, I am tired of dealing with difficult people - for 6 weeks. Of course I wonder what possibilities I could have got myself into should I have requested to do my elective elsewhere, but I am reminded as to why I went for one closer to home.

Because I know that I do miss home, and that I might not be able to spend as much time being home anymore in the near future.

Besides, I like to think myself as needed here. It's all right that way, isn't it?

On the side note, perhaps it's time I do something for Avicenna...I've been overworking him too much, he deserves a little reward every now and then. In a form of a decent check-up and a new battery, perhaps.

----------------
Now playing: Savage Garden - Hold Me
via FoxyTunes

An Ode to THE One

A sentiment that I can only demonstrate through a poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning, which sums up everything nicely. Almost everything, that is.

How Do I Love Thee?
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height<---(...yes, perfect dimensions!)
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight<--(haunting, even when out of sight...)
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise,
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints -I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! -and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

...Wait, no, scratch that line about death...for after death, there is no more use...

Source

Apple Inc. continues to make me squeal in delight, which I must assure you, is not an easy feat. I can't numerate the reasons I love Apple so, much less know where to begin.

Hello, Apple iPad, I hope to own you pretty soon if the opportunity ever materialises. Bamboo who?

----------------
Now playing: Kamiya Hiroshi - Kurayami Shinjuu Soushisouai (Uta Nashi)
via FoxyTunes

P/s: Take note that this infatuation may or may not be permanent, as parameters such as memory (my own, not the tablet's), financial status and rationality - which only arrives at a later date, if at all - all influence the exact outcome in the future.

mixed

In his own way, my father is a funny guy.

He went to Beijing a few weeks back, and he was sweet enough to message me, asking if there was anything in particular that I'd like him to get. Of course, I didn't say what I wanted in particular - my mind was too caught up with reading (whether it was studying or one of the novels that I recently bought, I cannot recall...) that my insatiable materialistic wants was brushed off aside.

End of scene one. Start scene two.

Today he was saying something about having bought an iPod. In Beijing.

I remarked that buying an iPod is rather a waste, since, unlike other mp3 or mp4 players, it is incapable of recording or playing the radio.

Moving on to scene three.

I found one on my shelf.

Scene three-point-five: I didn't know how to react.

My deduction skill took over. This had to be a fake. I mean, no offense or anything, but China is somewhat known for unoriginal things. Especially since he did mention back in the shop (where scene two took place) that he bought it for a cheap price. Said price also happened to be at least one-fifth of the cheapest iPod anyone can find on the face of the Earth.

Still, it was awfully sweet of him to buy it. My reasoning stated that he'd probably saw the Apple Inc. logo and automatically thought that my sister and I (yup, he bought two...) would love it to death. Yeah, we do have this predilection for Apple, but still...

...It's funny. Really.

If anything, it shows that he supports our Apple hemi-mania. Or, the other way of looking at it would be that he's OK with the idea of his daughters' helpless addiction to music...something he has, many times, deemed or condemned as worthless and distractful.

That being said, I still love my father (although I'd never say this outright). Even if he did make me wait for more than 20 minutes at the LRT station.


Current Music: Garnet Moon - Shimatani Hitomi

Your Brain is Purple

Of all the brain types, yours is the most idealistic. You tend to think wild, amazing thoughts. Your dreams and fantasies are intense. Your thoughts are creative, inventive, and without boundaries. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking of fictional people and places - or a very different life for yourself.

What Color Is Your Brain?

Title-less. Again.

So my exams ended two days ago. Nothing much to comment, except that it was full of surprises - Dude, I thought there would be at least 90% anatomy questions but no... - and, yeah, depression on my part.

Personally, there would be more sadness had my conjuncture been correct (Anatomy hates me, I tell you! It's out to get me! Call the cops!), since I barely managed to squeeze some credible answer once I was confronted with the evil anatomy questions.

Anyhow.

Planning to spend one week (plus-plus?) here before going off home for the break. I mean, it goes without saying that I'm productive without the Wifi connection at home (here, I cycled all the way to the lecture building just to get this darn free Internet access), and it's actually rather fun scrolling through old lectures (provided you can get pass the dreadful Oh-God-why-can't-I-remember-a-thing-about-this-It-has-been-a-mere-less-than
-one-year-OMG-my-memory-is-failing-me-does-that-automatically-make-me-at-risk-of
-getting-Alzheimer's phase...or, the less severe Why-does-nothing-ever-makes-sense-What-on-Earth-was-I-doing-in-class-back-then-
and-how-on-Earth-did-I-manage-to-pass-the-exam? (Of course, for that final question, the most elementary explanation would be: 'Coz they didn't ask you that in the exam. Duh!).

Yes, I am well aware that I am acting OTT but hey, give me some room to let out some of my OCC-ness.

Completed around 80% of the very vigorous spring cleaning on my room, and God! I was surprised to see so much junk lying around. Think of all the poor trees that sacrificed their lives just to become paper, and how did I waste paper? By scribbling incoherent stuff and drawing random caricatures...

One needs to allow one's 'creativity streak' to roam around freely once in awhile, but surely not at the expense of tainting (or, in the case of trees, balding) Mother Nature.

So how do I sum up Y1B4? Loads of emotional roller coaster rides, a little fun here and there (Remember the geriatric seminar? Yup, we pulled it off, thankfully! Cheers, people!), formaline stenches (...cadavers, enough said), etc.

And I'm still me.

Now, the ideal concept of getting through life is to, at the end of the day, emerge as a better person. Have I achieved that? Nope. I still think I'm the old me, with nothing much to be proud of in terms of positive change e.g. perspective in life and all that philosophical stuff (does that mean I'm actually in the wrong course in pursuing a profession? I know at least one person who would say I would be better off as a politician...).

But, maybe, just maybe, at my tender age of 20+, it's still to early to prospect how my life will take its course, say, fifteen years from now (although it's no secret that I hope it'd be somewhere in a certain another Asian country...although maybe Europe won't be too bad, assuming I have some degree of qualifications, credentials and capabilities to secure my spot in either place) since life's surprises catch you at the most unpredictable times.

...End of thoughts of the future. Start present.

Mika-chan...is ailing. I think she's really approaching her time. Mac can't detect her (be it Avicenna or this particular eMac), and for some strange reason, Windows states her properties as 100% used despite the fact that she has zero files stored in her! I got someone to format her a few weeks back, and this is how she turns out?

Somehow, I'm too embarrassed to show up at the IT department, asking them to check up on Mika-chan. Again. They'll label me as the-kid-who's-too-paranoid-over-her-thumbdrive.

Anyhow. I'd best get back to my room. It's nearly afternoon, and I'm still wondering if I should get lunch, just get an afternoon nap, or just...study. Ha ha.

Aye

New year, but it seems that with each passing December 31, I'd usually be doing the same thing at the tick of midnight: On my bed (with or without a computer on), listening to a Japanese song, thinking how the past has left us in the lurch, and the uncertainties the future has to offer.

Fireworks fill the first midnight sky of 2007, but here I am, not even glancing out of my own bedroom window, and thinking how they disrupt the song I'm listening to.

Currently downloading Gundam SEED episode 24. Don't ask why I even bothered to, knowing that a Realplayer file is _not_ something my Avicenna recognises much less plays.
Seven minutes to completion, then I'll begin with episode 39.
Then perhaps, just for the whim of it...SEED Destiny episode 14.

I am guilty of a downloading spree, with the unlimited Internet access (something lacking back in that backwater lil place...) and _tons_ of sites to check out, and likewise, _tons_ of things to download.

I just love Avicenna to bits...

Anyhow, so I got a new phone. A Sony Ericsson. I've nothing against Sony. I remember dreaming of owning one once upon a time - like I said before, advertisements have powerful influence - before I got a phone.

But yeah, Nokia's still cool in a different way. But it's just too bloody expensive for anyone's good.

Am I guilty for over-spending? Not exactly. It's a necessity - if not today, it would be someday.

So.

New block's starting in two days' time. Not exactly ecstatic (I demand longer breaks, damnit!), since I enjoyed the previous one a whole lot, and am kinda sad that it's gone.

Not that I want to repeat the experience, mind you. Once is enough. My time is limited.

Oh, the download's over. Time to move to the next one...

...if it turns out that whatever I'm downloading is either subtitle-less or fan-subbed, I'd be very, VERY disappointed.

Happy New Year, y'all. May the future bring good news to us all.

Current Music: Itsuka no Merry Christmas - B'z (I know, I know. Listening to a Christmas when it has been over for days, plus the fact that I'm not even Christian! ...My taste is quirky.)

Mendoukusai

I wonder what will happen when one day, Apple manages to give Microsoft a run for its money. Sure, some programs aren't supported by Mac (my CLIE for PC is a good example - then again we can safely say that CLIE has become obsolete as we speak) but let's face it, Windows grow troublesome with age.

Take this PC, for instance. I can cook instant noodles and finish it by the time the PC is ready to be handled.

One's patience grows thin too, you know.

Remember how the old telephones look like? The one that requires you to turn -thingy just so you dial? It makes you wait while it rewinds. Make me use it, and I'll dump the item in the nearest trash can faster than you can ever stop me.

Tsk tsk.

Current Music: Ignited - T.M. Revolution

Outbreak

To those virus authors (not forgetting any malicious code authors, be it trojans, spywares, etc), I wish them a miserable life, full of pain and sufferings.

It is unforgivable, making innocent people wince in unease.

Now that Avicenna is in the house...hopefully he'll be a more formidable opponent against those villains

Poor Nao.