Intermission #42

1. Yesterday was tiring, but worth it in the end.

Congrats, my dear sir, for exceeding my expectation not once, but twice over.

Congrats, dear self, for maintaining self-control.

2. Dear God, nephro ward is depressing. Not only because I'm the only one in the morning shift (why would an introvert like me feel lonely though?)...but because of the challenging veins and several patients yang banyak sangat cekadak, apa kata balik je la!!??

Cepat la habis, oh Medical! I can't take this no more...

Current Music: Stereo Hearts - Gym Class Heroes featuring Adam Levine

Whence Shalt I Even Begin?

First of all - yes, I'm done with Surgical posting. There were a few hiccups every now and then - though I maintain that I am by no means guilty of most of them! - but the important thing is that I'm out of the torture chamber!

It's a good feeling. Praises be to Him, as He had definitely Eased me through it all. Especially since the department seems to be deteriorating with every passing minute, it's fortunate that I've already completed my four months' imprisonment. I want out of the madness, and not a minute too late!

Four months is a long time, no kidding. You know you're practically an ancient relic when your MOs start asking you if you're still in the department...because you've been with them for so long already. Pfft!

Would I say that I'm a better person after this experience? I truly doubt it. I remember getting frustrated and wondering if there was still justice in the world and fearing that my humanity will eventually be compromised in the process...or that I will evolve to become a replica of those that I despise.

My end of posting leave is approved, and I've been home for a few days. Alas, my sleeping pattern is as screwed as ever, and I spent most of my hours catching up with valuable Zzz's.

I'm just so bad at this.

Current Music: Need You - Travie McCoy

And Now, For Something Relatively New

1. ...On second thought, maybe it ain't all new.

I'll be frank. At work, last week was bad on so many levels. I realise that I'm just not cut out for neonatal resuscitation stuff, and couple that with loads of cases, I'd say that it was hell to go through. Yes, including the fact that on the night prior to said resus I would be having nightmares. Nightmares, I tell you!

So yeah, I'm not into emergency stuff. It's not good for my poor little heart.

This week has been a breath of fresh air. Yeah, so I got stuck with being the Head of the shift for several times, but hey, anything is better than being the one in charge of Resus. There were a couple of dramas ("Why did you guys steal one of our p.m. people!? You guys have enough people already!" or "Why the heck am I Head again suddenly? Why me!?" or "Dude, why do we have so many premature babies and twins? What the heck is O&G doing? What the heck have the Melaka people been doing!?") and stuff, but...well, at least I'm still alive and kicking. And vigorous with good respiratory effort and muscle tone and...uhhh, yeah.

Last week I was in pieces. This week...somehow, I recovered. The trip back home last weekend helped greatly...and then some.

2. ...I am already defeated, but if it means eventually winning a bigger game, then it's fine with me. More than fine, in fact.

But only if I'm not going down alone.

3. Fact: I hate working in the nursery during weekends. For so many reasons that I don't bother making a list anymore.

4. Off day tomorrow, yay! Maybe it's high time to spring clean my room...and shop for a pair of shoes. Again.

Current Music: Without You - David Guetta featuring Usher

P/s: Karniza, dude, terharu to see the pics in your blog entry! Missing you guys and the good ol' university days already...

In Denial...Sort of

My mother had, every so often, encouraged me to pursue writing as a secondary career, knowing very well how I enjoy writing and how the local literary field is in dire need for better reading materials. Regardless, it's an idea that I myself have entertained every so often...but never actually got around to penning it down.

She suggested that I write something based on my working experience...

...And I have a feeling that if I ever wrote it down, the novel will be entitled "I'm not Jonah".

See, apparently they have this superstitious(?) belief at the hospital, whereby anytime someone who's already a known case of "Jonah" is at work, then plenty of admission is likely. I have, many a time, insisted that I'm not Jonah, and that it actually depends on the MO who is oncall at the same time as I am.

Until today, during which when I called my MO (an awesome one, if I may say so!) to ask about a case, he actually asked, "Eh, kenapa you sibuk sangat hari ni?".

That was after the fifth case in the Emergency Department. So far I've seen seven this day alone...And even the Medical Assistants and the MOs at ED were chuckling when I came to ED to review the cases that they referred to me.

Maybe it's payback for a relatively easy day yesterday, which was fortunate, as I was indisposed for a great deal of the afternoon, feeling under the weather such that they put me on an IV drip. Yes, I have newfound respect for patients who are able to calmly wait on their beds for their drips/antibiotics to finish, staring at the drops that signify the passing time, much like an hourglass...

God, please let my oncall finish soon. I'm starting to have phobia towards my own mobile phone...

Current Music: Misery - Maroon Five

I, Fangirl

Contrary to popular belief, fangirling is a serious business.

There are not many things that excite me as much as the next person. I rarely follow TV series or even movies. Perhaps it's just how I was brought up - the TV wasn't my companion until after SPM.

I kind of think that my childhood is trying to get back at me. The level of fangirling I do for anime, Japanese RPGs etc is insane. Which is followed closely by Apple computers.

And so it is with open arms that I welcome the latest addition to my gadget collections. Affectionately named Avicenna II, it serves as a reminder to his predecessor, my very first Apple iBook.

Alhamdulillah.

This is not an advertisement for Apple. Really.
Clockwise: Mac Mini (Miki), iPod Shuffle, MacBook Pro (Avicenna II), iBook (Avicenna I), Apple keyboard & Apple mouse.

Honestly though - even now I question the necessity in owning a MacBook Pro when my iBook is still breathing (...) and alive, albeit some hardware problems which will be troublesome at times of desperate need. I actually considered getting a Windows netbook to complement Mac OS as a means to increase compatibility, but I had to hack the idea since I couldn't shake the notion of reverting to Windows. Besides, other family members are using Windows, so I'll have to even the numbers. Be the odd one out.

So as I type this entry using Avicenna II, I wonder if mankind's quest for gadgets will prove to be a never-ending and, ultimately, forever unfulfilling unless temporarily.

...Now I just need to get my PSP back working. The system crashed a couple of weeks ago, so I couldn't get started with Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep and even my Persona 3 Portable.

What's worse? Apparently Square Enix announced a new Final Fantasy title - FF Type 0, formerly planned to be FF Agito XIII - to be released in Japan this summer. Materialistic much? Or am I just unhealthily obsessed?

The Next Phase

And so, it ends.

Only to signal a new beginning, a new chapter. And today, was just a prologue to it.

If I were to be honest, I never thought of feeling what I felt back then. To have the prefix "Doctor" before my name, it should be a good feeling - but the feeling I had, mixed amongst gratitude and syukur and relief, was fear.

Fear of the sudden gravity of the situation, the responsibility that comes with it. It just got real.

(Added to the confusion was the question if I am now incapable of feeling 'happy', even after hearing the good news. Maybe I'm over-analysing things here, but I've got quite good in defining how I feel towards certain things...Ask me if I'm relieved, I'll say yes in a split second. Am I happy? I'll need to get back to you later with a proper answer...
It probably warrants a post of its own, if I ever manage to string coherent words to explain it to those who would read it...)

I could rant on and on, I suppose, but much has been said about it here.

It's a whole new ball game, with a whole new set of rules, players and audience. And it calls for a different tactic to emerge victorious.

And the game will be on soon enough.


Current Music: The Ballad of Mona Lisa - Panic! At the Disco

Content

Thank God. Thank You, dear God, for putting my rumbling heart to rest. Hopefully this shall be a valuable lesson so that there will be no repetition to this...idiocy.

But the journey ahead does not necessarily promise ease. Putrajaya next week - hopefully we shall be greeted with little trouble, because seriously now, I am tired of dealing with difficult people - for 6 weeks. Of course I wonder what possibilities I could have got myself into should I have requested to do my elective elsewhere, but I am reminded as to why I went for one closer to home.

Because I know that I do miss home, and that I might not be able to spend as much time being home anymore in the near future.

Besides, I like to think myself as needed here. It's all right that way, isn't it?

On the side note, perhaps it's time I do something for Avicenna...I've been overworking him too much, he deserves a little reward every now and then. In a form of a decent check-up and a new battery, perhaps.

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Now playing: Savage Garden - Hold Me
via FoxyTunes

Twisted Out of Context

1. ENT Viva went relatively well although my instincts failed in their attempt in anticipation. Had a safe drive back to own hometown. I am home. The Internet connection is restored. It rained (OH YES GOD THANK YOU!). Went shopping for a few things. Managed to catch up with a few things that I had neglected (although not the rest).
In summary: Bliss. Thank God.

2. I admit that I am rather behind in my general knowledge as to what on Earth has besieged the country as we speak. The papers I barely read - merely flipping through the headlines and choosing only those that would not enrage me or challenge my principles - and the Net...the webpages I go to have not been updated much.
...Excuses. Frankly, I'm just so tired of all the drama.
It's rare that my father would invite me to a discussion - more like an educational commentary, really - when it comes to certain TV shows. Then again, he usually would watch forums and stuff, while I'd rather retire to my own corner in the house and sink into my thoughts or surf the Net for my own brand of viewing pleasure. But such a rare occurrence actually materialised today, thanks to a forum that seemed to discuss about the government's policy of making 30% of every sector to comprise of the fairer sex.
I may be a feminist to some point, being part of the species, but I am still in doubt whether the government can actually pull this off.
It's not unusual if they suddenly withdrew the idea some time in the future after the damage has been done *cough*PTS*cough*PPSMI*cough*...
Whatever it is, I'm watching from afar...

3. I'm sorry, but I couldn't care less if anybody managed to get him/herself photographed with Najib. I'm no rabid fan of his, so how about trying something else instead?

4. There are some things that continue to plague our thoughts no matter how hard we push them out.
...Looks like I've to try harder. Nonetheless, knowing what to defeat is barely half the battle.

5. I'm going to miss ENT. Even more than Dermato...Oh my. I wonder what awaits in Opthalmo...

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Now playing: Savage Garden - Crash And Burn
via FoxyTunes

Erraticism

One of the rare posts - if not the only one - which will not totally be in English.

1. An excerpt from one of the many irrelevant conversations us students committed ourselves to in the OT when our attention waned from the operation that was going on...

Boss-dude: Teruk tak? Dah nak last minute baru nak insaf (nak study)...
Me: Okay la tu. At least tak macam my case...
Boss-dude: Ibarat satu elektron dalam lautan luas?
Me: Oh, tidak...keinsafanku ibarat lampu kelip-kelip, yang akhirnya langsung tak memberikan cahaya yang secukupnya...

OMG Boss-dude, I know the above conversation is not too similar to our real life conversation, but I guess it'll do for the sake of clarity...

2. ENT. Awesomeness. Enough said. Although anatomy still hates me with passion...Sigh.

3. Clash of the Titans OST. I approve! It's totally worth it.

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Now playing: One Republic - Say (All I Need)
via FoxyTunes

Random, Useless Knowledge

Well, I must say I was generally pleased with Clash of the Titans. Not as ecstatic as the time I watched Sherlock Holmes, but still...

Although, the movie did not really correspond to some of the accepted details of Greek mythology.

I've always loved reading about Greek mythologies since my early childhood. It tells a lot about how people at the time believed in the Powers that Be, although admittedly, their beliefs would be insulting to the One True God in so many ways. In those mythologies, the so-called gods seem more like a clan of humanoid creatures that have a penchant for lewdness and cross-breeding *cough*especiallyZeus*cough* and patricide *cough*Zeus et al*cough*.

As for the discrepancies...Beware that these may contain spoilers...

1. Movie!Perseus was introduced as the son of King Acrisius's wife who was impregnated by Zeus. In the canon of Greek myths, Perseus's mother was actually the King's daughter, Danae.

2. Perseus actually killed Acrisius by accident, not because the latter was out for Perseus's blood in the first place.

3. Io was a favourite of Zeus, whom he protected against Hera's jealousy by changing her into a heifer. I can't recall who was the one cursed with eternal youth and immortality though...

4. Canon!Perseus ended up as the King of Tiryns after marrying Andromeda. The movie ended on a totally different note...

5. The monster Kraken was in no way associated with Greek myths, enough said.

6. Medusa's lair wasn't really in the Underworld, was it?

7. Medusa's head was supposed to be an offering for Athena, not to petrify Kraken. Athena later affixed the head on her shield.

8. Canon!Pegasus sprang from Medusa's body after her death.

9. Mentioned in passing, movie!Hydra was said to have five heads, whereas it actually had nine.

10. And lastly, to my knowledge, the Greek gods and goddesses certainly did not have shiny-sparkly-silver armours. Maybe one or two, but Zeus is commonly depicted as wearing robes, not polished-aluminum-body-plates...

There's more, of course, but the above are the glaring ones.

...Why is it that I can remember these details but I can't get medical knowledge to stay in my gray-cells with the same ease!?

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Now playing: Jason Derulo - In My Head
via FoxyTunes

Intermission #7

1. Done with Radiology for now. My eyes hurt, my head spins. Making sense of a spectrum of gray is taking its toll on me...
Next, dermatology. Ack.

2. Case reports. Thank goodness they're done with.

3. Can't wait to go back next weekend. Got a call from the bookstore saying that Caleb Carr's The Alienist that I ordered one month ago has finally arrived. If I weren't at the hospital when I received the call I would've squealed like a fangirl on helium (or sugar rush, whichever is higher in frequency).
I did manage to finish Caleb Carr's Killing Time one week after purchasing the book (deliberate delay on my part), but God Knows that after I shut the back cover of the book, I had some bad aftertaste lingering in my buccal cavity. That's not to say that the book was _bad_ - on the contrary, it was well-written, and it highlighted one of the major concerns of this so-called information technology age - but maybe that's exactly it; It rings true to the current scenario, and I shudder when I realise that I could be playing right into the enemy's field, just the way they wanted me to. Tsk.

4. On a positive note, the so-called Book Fair - not many books to choose from, but I suppose I'm in no place to complain - did manage to provide me with three books that were awesome bargains. It just shows that there could be hidden gems among the, uh, not-so-worthwhile.
...So what if I still am only two-thirds through Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers, and halfway through Simon Winchester's The Professor and The Madman?

5. Methinks I should widen my choice of reading materials. Sure, crime and mysteries are intriguing, but they highlight the dark sides of people - one that is willing to trample over others just to get their way, and to satisfy their selfish needs and greed.
...Somehow I can't imagine myself reading chick lits or Twilight romance stuff. I need more intricate plots, more complex characters, and story development that blows one's mind.
And I want Dan Simmon's Drood.
Writing is difficult. Which is why I haven't written much lately.

6. I'm all out for technology, but reading books the old-fashioned way still beats eBooks.
The same goes to academic books, alas.

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Now playing: Back-On - Sands of Time
via FoxyTunes

P/s: Naruto chapter 486 made me LOL (there's simply no other manner to describe it). Or rather, the reactions to that chapter... *snicker*

P/p/s: Am way behind Durarara!!...Maybe getting the DVD once it comes out would be a better option...

An Ode to THE One

A sentiment that I can only demonstrate through a poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning, which sums up everything nicely. Almost everything, that is.

How Do I Love Thee?
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height<---(...yes, perfect dimensions!)
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight<--(haunting, even when out of sight...)
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise,
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints -I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! -and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

...Wait, no, scratch that line about death...for after death, there is no more use...

Source

Apple Inc. continues to make me squeal in delight, which I must assure you, is not an easy feat. I can't numerate the reasons I love Apple so, much less know where to begin.

Hello, Apple iPad, I hope to own you pretty soon if the opportunity ever materialises. Bamboo who?

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Now playing: Kamiya Hiroshi - Kurayami Shinjuu Soushisouai (Uta Nashi)
via FoxyTunes

P/s: Take note that this infatuation may or may not be permanent, as parameters such as memory (my own, not the tablet's), financial status and rationality - which only arrives at a later date, if at all - all influence the exact outcome in the future.

Doorbell

1. Days and nights, and its 2010 already! Is it just me or have I been too immersed with the past that the present is overlooked and the future forgotten?
Oh, well, happy 2010, people! Praying that whatever awaits us in this year is best suited for our cause and...meaning in life.
That aside, it means Ortho exams soon! *facepalm*

2. I doubt that I have any serious histrionic tendencies, but why do I get attention when and where I least want it? Argh.

3. Still indecisive about what case I should select for my fourth case write up.

4. Sherlock Holmes is epic. So epic that I see Avatar as secondary. The latter has mesmerising graphics even without the 3D feature, but Sherlock Holmes has intelligent story _and_ awesome action scenes. Compare the mystery to Avatar's a la Pocahontas-FernGully-hybrid story and any sane mind with genuine appreciation for story telling would know which to go for.
...then again, this Sherlock Holmes fangirl is already biased from the start.

Current Music: 21 Guns - Greenday featuring American Idiot Cast

P/s: Sherlock Holmes OST, me want!

mixed

In his own way, my father is a funny guy.

He went to Beijing a few weeks back, and he was sweet enough to message me, asking if there was anything in particular that I'd like him to get. Of course, I didn't say what I wanted in particular - my mind was too caught up with reading (whether it was studying or one of the novels that I recently bought, I cannot recall...) that my insatiable materialistic wants was brushed off aside.

End of scene one. Start scene two.

Today he was saying something about having bought an iPod. In Beijing.

I remarked that buying an iPod is rather a waste, since, unlike other mp3 or mp4 players, it is incapable of recording or playing the radio.

Moving on to scene three.

I found one on my shelf.

Scene three-point-five: I didn't know how to react.

My deduction skill took over. This had to be a fake. I mean, no offense or anything, but China is somewhat known for unoriginal things. Especially since he did mention back in the shop (where scene two took place) that he bought it for a cheap price. Said price also happened to be at least one-fifth of the cheapest iPod anyone can find on the face of the Earth.

Still, it was awfully sweet of him to buy it. My reasoning stated that he'd probably saw the Apple Inc. logo and automatically thought that my sister and I (yup, he bought two...) would love it to death. Yeah, we do have this predilection for Apple, but still...

...It's funny. Really.

If anything, it shows that he supports our Apple hemi-mania. Or, the other way of looking at it would be that he's OK with the idea of his daughters' helpless addiction to music...something he has, many times, deemed or condemned as worthless and distractful.

That being said, I still love my father (although I'd never say this outright). Even if he did make me wait for more than 20 minutes at the LRT station.


Current Music: Garnet Moon - Shimatani Hitomi

Your Brain is Purple

Of all the brain types, yours is the most idealistic. You tend to think wild, amazing thoughts. Your dreams and fantasies are intense. Your thoughts are creative, inventive, and without boundaries. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking of fictional people and places - or a very different life for yourself.

What Color Is Your Brain?

Title-less

...which means that this entry is going to be, in one word, random.

Since my break started, I've been doing nothing but going on another downloading spree (last time, it was Gackt - this time, it's scanlations...including doujinshis).

Reading really overwhelming doujinshis, in addition to watching Naruto - from the final 20 episodes of the first season to the most recent five episodes of the new season Shippuuden, thanks to my classmate - and to wrap up Ouran Kouko Host Club plus reading a new manga called 07 Ghost...I'd say they're more than enough to keep me in hyper-otaku mode for days, if not weeks.

Oh, did I mention that I'm waiting for Youtube to finish loading an episode of Death Note the anime, just so I'd be able to listen how Yamaguchi Kappei and Miyano Mamoru perform?

Not to compare them to Matsuyama Ken'ichi and Fujihara Tatsuya (of the movie of the same name), definitely, since real-life movie =/= anime.

Oh, I suppose I should add that I've just finished Death Note: The Last Name (i.e. the second installment of the 'rea-life' movie). The subbing was atrociously appalling, I could only try to guess what they were saying (knowledge of the storyline helped a bit, since the movie adopted a slightly different approach). And, for the love of God, you _don't_ translate people's names! It's enough to make me grind my teeth in absolute dismay - and astonishment - as to _HOW_ people could lack simple common sense.

Argh, having Ryuuzaki being referred to as dragon (...you've got to be kidding me...) and Raito as Moon (how feminine is that, being contrasted to Ryuuzaki's one...dragons are totally more masculine than the moon~!) ...made my hands itch, eager to strangle the necks of the so-called translators.

Also, I've been hanging around Youtube rather often lately...I can't belive I'm losing sleep over this, yet I don't feel half as sleepy as my campus days.

Aah, the beautiful, mysterious affect a simple thing such as a break can do to you...
Looking forward to more 07 Ghost and Shippuuden!

But first I need to finish the third arc of Bleach...

And I want plushies! I think my bed is finally ready to shelter more...occupants, in addition to my notes and books.

Not forgetting to stock up on my anime list!

Yamaguchi Kappei is <3!