Intermission #26

I am impressed. There is a newly opened Apple Store in ECM, and one of the employees there actually answered my enquiries well.

Though the question remains - Why didn't they open sooner, and not now when I'm already done with Kuantan!?

Current Music: Oasis - Gackt Camui

Compilations #12

1. So the issue now is - when shall we be called for work? (Called for induction, to be more accurate, but whatever - one thing leads to another!)
Personally, I don't really mind either way, but the issue that we're already late as it is still bites me. It's awfully unfair, and honestly, it's like the university never learn at all. Way to show your credibility, guys. As if we don't already hate you enough...
Or maybe I'm just the type who shows little enthusiasm. Paranoid much? Or is it something more?

2. Maybe I should stop thinking too much about writing. Lately it doesn't give me as much kick as it used to. Perhaps it's God's way of telling me, "Grow up, woman!" or something. Hmm...

3. These few days, I've been busy checking out some of the radio shows that Japanese VAs do. Despite the fact that I don't really understand a great deal of what they're saying - sort of enough, but I need more! - it still manages to make me grin like an idiot and burst out laughing like a maniac. They're having too much fun at their job, and their passion really shines through.
I'm sort of envious. Hoping that I can reach that level of passion for my job soon enough.
In any case, I can't be listening to the radio shows on my mp3 player in public. Wouldn't want people to stare at me strangely and wondering if I should be confined, away from supposedly sane people...

4. Also, I've been busy filling up documents - although probably 'busy' is such an undeserving overstatement. Every time, I can't figure out what to write under "Occupation".
It's like being stuck in between worlds, or something like that.

5. Dangit, country block!!

6. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 was awesome. Needs more Draco though, or maybe that's just me...

Listening to: Bonus Track Intro ~Zenryaku Gake no Ue Yori Hizou Demo Ryuushutsu~ - Morita Masakazu, from Bleach B Station Volume 2

Vindication

So many things
all over and around, and within,
But this silence I cannot break,
without breaking others in its wake.

There are no tears,
Already dry, wilting,
quivering as the cold wind blows,
and icy words cut through.

There are no scapegoats,
so blame it all on me,
No, I shall say not one word,
as I hold within,
A prayer to ascend to Him,
for comfort, strength and warmth.

-----
ad. Lucidus (c) 2011.

Status Quo

The idleness will be the death of me, but to be honest, it will be duly missed once it ceases its reign, and I enslave myself to a life of responsibilities and serving the people, all in the name of answering His Call.

At times I wonder what is it that I've got myself into; Abandoning my interests and what essentially made me, me…will it bode well in the end? Or rather - will I survive the journey itself? Or will I be torn asunder by the gravity of the job, the multiple facades of people, and these turbulent times? Will my sanity maintain its steadiness, or will it finally crack under pressure?

Through all these, I hope God is with me, though undeserving I may be. God Forbid.

I have been writing a lot, although truth be told, most of them still reside in my head rather than in any tangible form. I've been spamming my Tumblr like there's no tomorrow, and similarly, busy deleting spams that somehow made it into my mailbox. Out, damn'd spam[1]!

The truth still stands, strong as ever. Writing is what I do. Thus my thoughts continue to wonder, what am I to do?

The differences between Arts and Science, the two are like estranged brothers, as different as night and day. While Science revels in the unrevealing of mysteries and the unveiling of truths, the Arts seem to reign supreme in the unknown and the irrepressible. How many tragedies written in the past were driven by people unable to contain their rage and rabid desires any longer? How comedies could bring joy to an otherwise murky world?

The two coexist in my head, a jungle of unexplored territories, a garden of juvenile hope, a dungeon of human fallacies, a stretch of plane where imagination takes many forms in turn?

Not to say that I regret my education thus far. But perhaps the Arts has not been given enough recognition it truly deserves, which goes beyond the superficial looks and the temporary glitters and greedy glamour? Even now, as idleness accompany my days, as I seek to amuse myself with whatever shows the television offered me, oftentimes that I found myself frowning in rebuke and scoffing with scorn.

Perhaps the tragedy of the Arts is that it's all, "been there, done that". Every cliche imaginable has been recycled that the effect has been lost, replaced by disappointment. The all reaching media ensures that there is a continuous stock of things that would feed the public's hunger for the hedonistic. And so what was left, except looks?

The problem of paper thin plots and gaping plot-holes are covered up by actors and actresses that are only pretty faces but are unable to act to save their lives. Tone deaf singers without much practice and wide range of abilities only need to ensure on looks to get them by. There are also gimmicks and cheap publicity stunts  that they used to boost up their popularity.

We are easily satisfied with mediocrity, and we become thirsty for more.

It is this quest for beauty that the public unwittingly get trapped in. People are not beautiful enough, not thin enough - but what is there to say about one's attitude?

"You're perfect as you are", or "Never change", or "Just be yourself". Yup, I've seen a lot of them on Tumblr.

While I'm not against positive advices, I do caution their use in situations. Such advices mentioned above are definitely not for those in dire need of a change of attitude.

There is a stench of haughtiness of "I'm good enough", as in the case of "I do as I please". Whatever happened to the quest of becoming a better person each day? Isn't that what growing up is supposed to amount to?

What goes around comes around - some people call it karma, but it's just God's Decree.

I apologize if this post had somehow trod on someone's toes, but it needed to be said. I assure you that all the rumination that I've done over this post hasn't actually relieved my conscience.

Current Music: Sadame - X TV OST

[1] - Parodied from Shakespeare's original work. Here is the real thing - Macbeth Act 5, scene 1:

Out, damn'd spot! out, I say!—One; two: why, then
'tis time to do't.—Hell is murky.—Fie, my lord, fie, a soldier, and
afeard? What need we fear who knows it, when none can call our
pow'r to accompt?—Yet who would have thought the old man to
have had so much blood in him?

I, Fangirl

Contrary to popular belief, fangirling is a serious business.

There are not many things that excite me as much as the next person. I rarely follow TV series or even movies. Perhaps it's just how I was brought up - the TV wasn't my companion until after SPM.

I kind of think that my childhood is trying to get back at me. The level of fangirling I do for anime, Japanese RPGs etc is insane. Which is followed closely by Apple computers.

And so it is with open arms that I welcome the latest addition to my gadget collections. Affectionately named Avicenna II, it serves as a reminder to his predecessor, my very first Apple iBook.

Alhamdulillah.

This is not an advertisement for Apple. Really.
Clockwise: Mac Mini (Miki), iPod Shuffle, MacBook Pro (Avicenna II), iBook (Avicenna I), Apple keyboard & Apple mouse.

Honestly though - even now I question the necessity in owning a MacBook Pro when my iBook is still breathing (...) and alive, albeit some hardware problems which will be troublesome at times of desperate need. I actually considered getting a Windows netbook to complement Mac OS as a means to increase compatibility, but I had to hack the idea since I couldn't shake the notion of reverting to Windows. Besides, other family members are using Windows, so I'll have to even the numbers. Be the odd one out.

So as I type this entry using Avicenna II, I wonder if mankind's quest for gadgets will prove to be a never-ending and, ultimately, forever unfulfilling unless temporarily.

...Now I just need to get my PSP back working. The system crashed a couple of weeks ago, so I couldn't get started with Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep and even my Persona 3 Portable.

What's worse? Apparently Square Enix announced a new Final Fantasy title - FF Type 0, formerly planned to be FF Agito XIII - to be released in Japan this summer. Materialistic much? Or am I just unhealthily obsessed?