Intermission #11

I scrutinize this blog's tag list and I am torn between laughing bitterly and heavy sighing. While it is by no means surprising, it is a cause of concern that does need rectifying.

Going by the frequency, the highest number of entries are those that revolve around med-life, people and anguish. Yes, this little corner in the www might just be a little too pessimistic for its own good.

That is not to say that I'm a full-blown pessimist bordering on suicidal thoughts (despite my frequent talks about jumping off buildings - God forgive me) and more-than-occasional anhedonia. But with negative feelings, there is a greater need to analyse and allow it to unfold - hence the blog entries.

The response to joy is easier - extend one's gratitude to God, don't let it get to your head, and carry on. There is less need to ruminate over it, with less drama involved.

There isn't much else to say. My hobbies are few. I'm losing interest in anime, and it's getting difficult trying to keep abreast with recent updates on my J-music fix. Books I rarely purchase these days - one reason is the sheer price and another is the need to focus on academic reading - so I mostly read online stuff. Politics has to be avoided - there's too much idiocy going on and it's no use getting so emotionally worked up over them. Wouldn't want to toe over the line of sensitive issues, would we? And I tell you there's a lot of that contributing to my brain activity...more than what should be permitted for normal functioning level.

I'm honestly running out of things to write about. Would it spell the end of my writing?

...Yeah, right. There'll always be something; Something...

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Now playing: Back-On - Sands of Time
via FoxyTunes

Compilations #9

1. Oxymoronic

Simply amazing.

How silence can convey more than words could. There's facial expressions, of course, and the glimpse of emotions that is finely entwined in those few yet curt words issued.

Like, one may be able to sense that something is up when one walks into a meeting room overtaken by silence, and the people within are muted for whatever reason. Those wearing their poker faces may prove to be a challenge, but then look at the surroundings - if people wouldn't talk, evidence would, in their own way.

Or when one can figure out something is afoot when two people who are close suddenly wouldn't even trade words.

Or when one whose verbose nature suddenly takes a total change.

You don't have to be a genius to decipher those descriptive, explanatory silence. Just a bit more perception, sensitivity and...humanity, really.

2. Norms and Imprisonment

Some habits are hard to break, regardless of whether or not there's insight on how destructive said habits could be.

For instance, nicotine in cigarette makes the person dependent on its very existence in his/her bodily system. The same goes for drugs. Without it being part of the subject, it doesn't feel right, doesn't feel whole.

Tolerance; The old doses just won't work anymore to achieve the same effect, the same amount of 'high'. Addiction; there will always be the want for more.

The smoker or IV drug user might know he - overgeneralisation of sex here, not because I'm a sexist - is slowly killing himself and, indirectly, those closest to him, but he could not help himself. His self-control is already weak, waning with every passing second and with subsequent dose of his unlawful brand of pleasure.

I'm not condoning this behaviour. It's repulsive, it's degrading. The unspeakable loss of humanity.

What of habits then?

Would you say it's something akin to drugs and nicotine? Does it deserve to have its own designated term, such as habitoholics, such as alcoholics with their alcoholism? Are we conditioned in a way that it is irreversible, or at the very least, any future editing or modification processes will be unduly met with strong resistance?

Why is it so hard to change even when we know it has to be done!?

3. Malpositioned

Is there an honourable place in today's world for a Jack of all trades but master in none?

We can't all be what we yearn to be. Not all dreams become reality. Some live their dreams, some keep on dreaming and just that...no more. It ends once we start our eternal slumber.

Then again, so do most things.

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Now playing: OneRepublic - Made For You
via FoxyTunes

Obscurity & Ambiguity

There's a very thin line separating naivety and downright stupidity.
Likewise, the borders between passionate discussion and aggressive dissertation is too fine for one's vision.

As for silence...there's too many interpretation for it.
The classic take on silence is to agree. This is extremely apparent in cases where matters of the heart is involved.
Another, it may mean, "I have nothing better to say."
Thirdly, for those who think rather highly of themselves, "You are not worthy of my words".
Fourthly, a more respectable way - by which I mean better self-control - of saying "ZOMG I'm PWNed!!"
Lastly, which is most of the time the definition of my answer of silence, is "I'm angry. I'm not saying anything because you won't like it if I do in my present state."

Current Music: The Man Who Can't Be Moved - The Script