Compilations #2

1. It's all about perspective. However, humans being humans, we're bound to have different interpretations of the same incident.
At times there is no meaning in trying to correct any misunderstanding - as long as it doesn't result in a more tangled predicament. It's a waste of time and effort.
Likewise, why bother giving meaning to something so trivial? We might have been barking up the wrong tree all along.

2. No man is an island. Or woman, for that matter.
That's why, even when we've tried our best - either in staying out of people's way or striving to be a better person than yesterday - there's no guarantee that everything will be peachy for us.
...Then it's back to the basic question - what _was_ our deepest intention in doing good in the first place?
Give a correct answer, and a greater reward awaits thee, sooner or later.

3. Case write up. Tsk tsk. I wonder when I'll actually finish it for real...

4. Doppelgängers can be terrifying. Imagine seeing someone on television who looked like someone you knew - except that the former was more of a past rendition of the latter.
For me, while it could have been a pleasant sight...it wasn't. Partly because I'd rather not be reminded of it.

Current Music: Goodbye - Kristinia Debarge

Stranded

One of the five Giant I's in geriatrics - in which the decline of one element may very well be the impetus to bring the rest down along with it like a row of dominoes - is immobility.

Granted, that is when we are talking about the elderly. As for us, the younger generation, it's all about seeing the world and not remaining in one place for far too long, either for fear of boredom or of the danger of being branded as a narrow-minded simpleton. Unless you're a hermit, an antisocial, or a proud hikikomori, then whatever common law for the rest of the Homo sapien automatically does not apply.

Seneca _did_ say that "man is a social animal" - which explains why being imprisoned, or isolated from the rest of the people, is a punishment that can be unbearable. It puts a strain on one of our basic tendencies; to interact, to move around freely.

Keyword here is 'freely'.

I remember one saying about what constitutes the best government; It is the one that "governs the least". In other words, it should not put too many absurdly stringent rules that serve no other purpose than for them to flaunt their power and giving their subjects bad cases of migraine or hypertension. As such, it puts a limit to creativity. It creates a hostile environment, in which there only exist hatred and resentment, both of which may raise exponentially faster than you can diagnose the crux of the matter to reverse the damage.

When everyone is thrown into the chaos, even those who have done no wrong will get affected. And it's not like every single person who did wrong did so intentionally.

When common sense is considered an endangered species, too many things can go haywire with no solution in sight.

When it's all about "Me" and no "You", there is no place for "Us" anywhere in the equation.

When morality is extinct, humanity disappears with it.

Current Music: Hi no Hikari Sae Todokanai Kono Basho de - Miyavi featuring Sugizo

P/s: ...No, I'm not talking about the government of the country. Rather, it's a bit closer to us students. Go figure. Sigh.

Tick Tock

It's here again.

The time for us to control one of our most innate desires, to prove that Gluttony has no place within us. The time to shave off some of those unnecessary mass that we carry around as fat and the living testimony of our sedentary lifestyle that we are so used to. The time to augment our patience despite the trials and tribulations that lie ahead. The time to restrain ourselves from the superficial pleasures this world offers that has little to no weight in our afterlives. The time to focus our body and soul on what is truly important.

The time for us to nurture ourselves into better human beings, to serve Him and the people as a whole.

Because whatever good deeds that we dedicate to Him, in turn, is for the greater good.

In the end what is our aim? Jubilation in this life and the next.

Happy Ramadhan and happy fasting, people.

Current Music: Chain - Back-On

A Tempest in A Teapot

Quoting Dr. S, “I feel calm when I sacrifice”.

If there is one thing that I could conclude during these few days, it’s that some people, despite their pleasant exterior, are capable of being anything but. One Malay proverb of never to assume that still water has no crocodiles lurking within describes this nicely.

May I say that I have anticipated as much? Or is it just my tendency to presume the worst in anything I figured could go wrong? It’s like the calm before the storm – while everything appears to be tip-top superficially, unknown to some people – those who remain ignorant or willingly assume such position – there is a great battle raging on beneath it all.

I really don’t want to say it’s a racial thing, because the last thing I want is to be accused of racism – something that is a huge no-no in this country, where sensitive issues are abundant and peace is hanging by a worn-out thread, more or less like an egg on the tip of a horn.

(Except that in this country, I think there is more than one horn that is waiting to pierce through the already delicate eggshell, breaking it into pieces, and making a huge mess out of everything...)

Besides, I’d rather stay in this confounded university and study instead of being detained in the ISA, thankyouverymuch…

Back to the present issue. I may exaggerate, but this raging storm surrounding us may very well affect the future of several parties – our own, the department, our juniors, and the clinic. We medical students leave an impact wherever we go, and not necessarily in a good way *snicker*. I guess our position as being in the eye of the storm, where the calm may be ending anytime soon, is in fact seen (erroneously?) as the integral part of the problem. Being accused of staying in the room instead of helping out the nurses seem unfair, especially since we are obviously seen as going around and meddling asking the nurses and other medical assistants in the clinic several favours just to get patients to clerk and performing things required in the logbook.

Why must things go this way?

I don’t know. My groupmates don’t know. Only God Knows.

Are we seriously a bunch of troublemakers that cannot resist stirring up controversies wherever we go? Are we that inane that our mere presence reeks of unbearable foulness?

Prejudice can be hard to get rid of. I can’t cry foul over unjust generalized sentiments towards us, but honestly, while I do understand that their work is complicated enough that entertaining us medical students can be an unnecessary burden to them, allow me to say that the last thing I want is to hamper their work, because patients always come first.

So do we resort to what Dr. S had said – we sacrifice? That’s what life is about anyhow…sacrificing for the greater good.

Personally I see myself as a pacifist, but at times, I don’t want to go down without a fight, especially when I see injustice at work.

Do we take a stand, or run away from the source of the problem? What are the criteria to decide whether to fight or to take flight? If neither of the two is fulfilled, what else is our option?

…What am I saying? The only thing that could come before patients – that is, something other than divine intervention – is politics…and I mean that in every sense of the word.

Current Music: Storm – Gackt Camui

P/s: The title merely refers to great anger or excitement over a trivial matter. Although Dr. S would be using the glass versus the lake analogy…

Scenic

New discovery: Photography isn't so bad. Recalling the sweet events of yesterday's main side-programme (the secondary side-programme involved stuffing ourselves with loads of keropok lekor, and I must say that the keropok lekor in Terengganu holds a special place relative to other keropok lekors in my heart), I realised that it was almost automatic that I whipped out my PDA - Hidenori-kun - out from the safe confinement my bag had provided him with, and started gathering pieces of the wonderfully photogenic scenes around me with clicks of the button.

I mean, there were other cameras to capture people amidst the panoramic view, but I wanted the _feel_ of the place - majestic, enveloping the people within, but at the same time, warm and welcoming. The calming effect of various shades of lush green amidst the spectrum of sky blue backdrop, with tints of shadows where the lights hover tentatively with the occasional breath of wind, and solid, brown wood of the trees and woodwork.


I've always adored waterfalls, perhaps attributed to how the water appears to be lively and makes a bold statement in its own wordless way, but this is classic. It is a physical embodiment of paradox - in which, in spite of the harsh sound of the collision as the falling water joins its other self, there remains lingering traces of calmness around it.







Would it be too far off to say it's a chance to be one with nature, to enjoy her in her simple yet exquisite beauty, after ages of being surrounded in metal and steel, imprisoned in the concrete jungle and pillars of iron poles?

...It gave a soothing effect after a momentary period of discontent from being confronted with the less than fortunate - a fact that life in this world can be indescribably rough.

Yes, it was so worth it to come out into the open air, despite the short episode of drizzle and fears of falling ill from deliberate exposure to it upon our arrival.

Still, my only regret was to have accidentally left my camera Renji-kun behind, despite several times reminding myself to bring him along.

Other pictures - inclusive of us, the people! - can be found in Facebook (where else?) in relevant albums.

Current Music: milky way - P'UNK~en~Ciel

Family Medicine: First(?) Impressions

Perhaps it is not too late to have first impressions in the second week into the posting.

1. It has a certain warm feeling to it. I suppose it should, since we _are_ talking about patient-centred approach.

2. No thanks to H1N1, the number of our field visits will likely be reduced. This doesn't stop the Community Medicine group from their Ulu Tembeling trip...

3. Thanks to H1N1, we're presented with how the public health people deal with such pandemic. The polyclinic I was posted in was crowded with so many people coming with Influenza-like Illness. Notwithstanding, chronic cases like Diabetes Mellitus & Hypertension were (are?) aplenty...

4. Patient's compliance? With some people, you'll have more luck making rocks bleed.

5. Role-play. Summary: I've too much formality and no empathy. Tsk.

6. Today's geriatric visit in Dungun. Maybe it is a misnomer, since there were a handful of those whom you might not regard as elderly...
Suffice to say, it opened my eyes - that those unfortunate are not few in numbers. So really, we have every reason to be thankful with what we already owned...
Bukit Besi was a nice place to stop for our side-programme. Now I see why there are those who enjoy photography so much...

7. Am presently contemplating whether I should return home for the weekend or not, since it's one weekend in which Saturday will be free from any class...

8. ...Internet connection, why so unreliable!?

Current Music: Smile Ichiban Ii Onna - An Cafe

The Blame Game

Sometimes it is only too easy to raise that accusing finger and point the blame at someone. So easy, that most of us resort to this way without skipping a beat. Like it's purely reflex, ingrained deep within us, essentially an inherent read-only programme which not many can rewrite without much toiling.

Blaming takes guts. It might involve getting in others' bad books, but it may or may not taint the blamer's own conscience. It may be an ego defense mechanism - albeit an immature or neurotic one - but it's not one that anybody can be proud of.

It goes without saying that it takes more guts to just admit one's own mistakes, and try to rectify the situation rather than busying oneself with finding a scapegoat.

Blindly, or even half-blindly, blaming others may stem from one's ignorance, one's lack of understanding of the matter. In cases of accusing people for what they did in relation to their personality or intelligence, could we safely say that, had we been in the person's shoes, we would never have committed the same mistake?

We are shaped by our pasts and our tendencies, our habits. We are who we are not only because of our external appearances, but also how we would react, verbally or in our actions, to a given situation. As such, it may involve conditioning - in which, when confronted with something that resembles something from our past, we tend to respond more or less the same way or, had we learnt a lesson, in a different manner. Because life is a series of lessons and quizzes, rather than just one major exam after certain intervals.

Our past is like a collection of baggage that we continue to drag as we tread this winding road we call Life. Some may fall out of our carriage whether deliberately or not, some are tightly locked, bound to our being - akin to scars that can't be erased, or those that become hideous keloids, perpetually haunting and traumatising us. It depends on what we'd do to these - whether we walk on strong-willed, holding our head high, or we choose to huddle, to shrink in one corner to sob like everything is futile, like we've reached the screen that reads 'Game Over' with no option for 'New Game' or 'Resume Last Saved'.

Depending on one's own coping mechanism, one may rise with glory or one may fall into wretchedness. There may be an inherent machinery within that gives a rough idea on how to respond, to survive. Is there any wonder that two biological siblings living under the same roof may grow up to become different, despite some similarities? Is there any wonder that children do not take after their parents totally? Is there any wonder that even the closest friends who claim to share the same interests can still bicker like selfish prats?

That said, I'd say it's only fair for one to blame another only if the former is well-acquainted with the latter's unjustified destructive nature. Even so, there is a limit as to how mad one should be, I guess.

Which brings us to another question - how much should we know?

More beyond this field of vision »

Ureshii Ver. 2.0

This will be (relatively) short, I promise.

1. After a grievous loss roughly 2 weeks ago, today I am finally blessed with his replacement, whom I shall dub [EDIT] Subaru-kun Hidenori-kun[/EDIT]. While it may not match up to the late Tatsuma II in terms of price and specifications, I must say that I am still content ♥, and truthfully, I don't need the HTC Touch Diamond2 specifically to be elated. Frankly, I didn't really listen to the FM radio in the deceased anyway - the one time I did attempt to use the feature was met with less than tolerable results. (So if I am ever in a dire need for a radio and I am nowhere near my car, I shall make use of Hakushio - providing I've brought him along).
Presently, am trying to get the hang & feel of [EDIT] Subaru Hidenori-kun...and perhaps move on from mourning over Tatsuma II for good.

2. This coming Monday marks the beginning of Family Medicine. Really!? Does this mean I need to get back to all my Internal Medicine stuff, assuming I'll be able to dig them up from...wherever it was I chucked my "To Be Used Later - If At All" items?

3. Thankfully, the issue of where and what we are to do during our Elective block is rather settled. I say rather, because it won't be much of a breeze. And, fortunately(!?), it's not going to be in IJN...

4. Forensics practical. Both the time and place that I wanted. Rejoice!

5. Psychiatry exam yesterday morning. I was thinking, like, "Where was Freud? There wasn't any question on Freud? WHAT?!" - not that I've a single speck of confidence in terms of my results...

6. We survived the trip from Kuantan to KL yesterday, despite the odds. So many people were willing to help for no cost at all. There's hope for humanity after all! ♥

Current Music: World is Mine - Hatsune Miku