Intermission #21

It is part of the Mercy of Allah that thou dost deal gently with them Wert thou severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about thee: so pass over (Their faults), and ask for ((Allah)'s) forgiveness for them; and consult them in affairs (of moment). Then, when thou hast Taken a decision put thy trust in Allah. For Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him). (3:159)
If Allah helps you, none can overcome you: If He forsakes you, who is there, after that, that can help you? in Allah, then, Let believers put their trust. (3:160)

1. I like to think that one of my fortes is sarcasm (Not exactly something worth bragging about, I agree...). Maybe it's just my way of letting it out without employing a loud tone of voice, but while I have many opportunities to put this into practice, I rarely do, for fear of:

• sounding like an arrogant know-it-all (...)
• accused of being rude (...some people tend to accuse more easily than the general population...)
• the listener not understanding the sarcasm, which kind of defeats the purpose. Dang.

Or, maybe, it's just my style of humour - which people don't always get, which sort of results in my unwillingness to mix around much. That, and that catering to people exhausts me greatly.
(On a somewhat unrelated note - I'm starting to think that 'humour' as an ego defense mechanism should not be put as a mature defense mechanism. It belittles the gravity of the situation - isn't that akin to denial itself?! And some people push the jokes a bit too far...it starts to get irritating. And offensive.)
Perhaps I should start becoming more silent. That way people may not misunderstand me much, it reduces the risk of inadvertently offending anyone else - and it probably helps in that what I say rarely bears any impact anyhow.
...Thank God for blogs though.

2. "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves" ~ Carl Gustav Jung.

If I appear to be colder and more labile these days, I apologise. It dawned on me that with some people it gets more difficult to tolerate them and their antics...and so I might have accidentally 'displaced' any displeasure I have towards them on some other poor innocent souls.
Or...it could be the stress. Now with regards to the time, one can only say "OMG Final Pro is just next month, OMG!!".

3. Avicenna's keyboard is acting up. The cursor appears in odd places and starts to insert the text I'm typing into other words. What the flipping heck, Apple!
Yeah. Time for a new laptop. A MacBook, no less. Sigh.

4. The manga Meitantei Conan is finally back on track - somewhat. It's about time too! Besides, I need more Okiya!

5. "The world is a crazy place. And sometimes that craziness infects us. Sometimes it makes us a little crazy too" ~ Anonymous (snagged from Tumblr)

I'm the kind who is in tune with my psyche and aims to achieve harmony with my surroundings. But with the...turbulent state of things, I can safely say that it's nigh impossible to achieve this task.
The heart can only take so much before breaking. Maybe because it's never meant to take up too much burden. But with the Internet, with the information overload (useless and useful data notwithstanding), it seems that ignorance is bliss after all, when applied correctly...

Maybe I should move away to someplace else, where people can act more rationally instead of just resorting to the excuse of "other people hexing others using supernatural means"...and the delusion that just because one has Google or the Internet in your laptop/computer/iPhone/PDA/tablet, you're as good as a specialist in that area.

...I wonder if such a place actually exists, or is it just an idealist's unattainable Utopia?

Current Music: Redemption - Gackt Camui

Overload

"The only dream worth having, I told her, is to dream that you will live while you're alive and die only when you're dead. [Which means:] To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never to forget." - Arundhati Roy

It's getting uglier. So ugly it's repulsive, it's blasphemy.

What on God's Earth is wrong with...every single thing!? Why are utter morons holding the strings, the baton to the orchestra? Why can't some people just act their age already?

Why is it that most people appear so selfish it's just so inhumane? (...Myself notwithstanding? Really? Oh dear...) I used to think that the only thing that is limitless in a person is his or her dreams - perhaps now I may add 'ego' to that list?

Why do people no longer respond to kindness with kindness too? Why is it that people's good will gets manipulated out of context only too easily? Why is it that lies always seem to prevail over truth? Why does it feel as if our lives are being controlled by capitalists and corruption?

Is everything a mere fabrication, a veil to blind?

Is this how humanity spirals down to destruction? Are we already in the final chapter, or are things just getting started?

One thing I'm quite certain of - I'm so sick of all this bull.

Current Music: What The Hell - Avril Lavigne

Intermission #20

So tired, that I can't even think of a proper title for this entry. Pfft.

Sleeping schedule is screwed haywire, and my energy is depleting at an alarming rate that by the time the day ends all I want is to return to familiar territory and just let go, even though I know extremely well that time is not exactly on my side...

But I suppose the most important things are that (a) I do enjoy the posting so far, and (b) I'm learning things.

It's good to have achievable goals, at any rate. An idealist still needs to return to Earth and back to reality, after all - lest one develops psychosis upon failure to do so.

At least there are fewer things that bug me for now...at least, in terms of numbers, but definitely not in term of magnitude (zomg-major-exams-soon-omg!!!111).

But people do strange things when they lost control of themselves. Some people ingest things they'll probably regret later on (if they ever regain their senses, that is), other people channel their bad moods into more productive outcomes, while I...I blog, I suppose. It helps me to feel closer to myself, realising that I'm still in touch with me despite my inability to comprehend others. Because I've realised it's futile to expect too much from people - sometimes it suffocates me, other times it leaves me miserable.

I'm over-thinking things again. No wonder I get so tired so easily.

Making sense of things is hard. But trying to respond to things without them being scrutinised and judged...I'd say that is harder. Maybe some things are just not meant to make _any_ sense in the first place...

But what am I supposed to do when I can't even accept them, and yet rejection is akin to rejecting reality itself?

Current Music: Kimi no Kirei ni Kizuiteokure -  Sambomaster

P/s: Desperate people do desperate things at desperate times for desperate reasons. It seems that it's getting more and more difficult to escape the clutches of the Net, what with my perpetual blog-writing and visiting, Tumblr and...a certain other social network site (No, it ain't Facebook - I'm kind of over it by now...).
And it goes on and on and on...