Desiderata

Desiderata (L.) - desired things

With what little time I do have to spare after a hard day's work, is it any wonder that my brain refuses to embark in any further ruminating? And naturally my words will not write themselves, as all I yearn to do these days is to succumb to my lethargy and let my dreams take over.

But I must refrain from talking about work. Because my life is more than that, yes. And because I shouldn't be thinking about work on an off-day.

...My attention capacity is at a worrying level. I can't even finish a chapter properly, what more a book. And yet I still find myself handing over the cash to purchase another book. As I clutch the item close to my person, my mind wonders if this time will be any different from the last time I lost myself in a bookstore.

Whatever the response to that question may be, it ends with my forsaking that thought - because honestly, habits die hard - and praying to God that my self-control will eventually triumph over this materialistic want.

And so I peek into my purse, sigh into it, and chucked it into my bag and walk away, pushing whatever regret I may have into the back of my mind, until it reappears like a sceptre the next time I repeat this folly.

Shopaholic in the making? Goodness, I hope not.

Also, the number of pants that I have now is dangerously close to the number of skirts I already have. Which is worrying, considering that - if you knew me at all - I have never been a pants kind of a person.

Until recently, I suppose. Because there is no way on God's Earth can you wear a skirt or baju kurung and perform CPR without appearing...undignified.

Current Music: Call It What You Want - Foster the People

Intermission #43

1. Perhaps it is time to take the plunge into the uncertain.

Testing the waters too long may have been an act of cowardice, but who can handle the thought of one's dreams collapsing?

Perhaps, in a way, it's already too late to back down.

2. I notice that I enjoy working when I go the extra mile voluntarily, not when people start demanding as if we are their personal attendants or something.

3. Roughly around 7 more weeks until Medical ends, iA. Praying that all will go well.

Also, my paranoia needs to stop intruding my subconscious and translating my dreams into nightmares.

Current Music: Hello - Karmin

Intermission #42

1. Yesterday was tiring, but worth it in the end.

Congrats, my dear sir, for exceeding my expectation not once, but twice over.

Congrats, dear self, for maintaining self-control.

2. Dear God, nephro ward is depressing. Not only because I'm the only one in the morning shift (why would an introvert like me feel lonely though?)...but because of the challenging veins and several patients yang banyak sangat cekadak, apa kata balik je la!!??

Cepat la habis, oh Medical! I can't take this no more...

Current Music: Stereo Hearts - Gym Class Heroes featuring Adam Levine