Doorbell

1. Days and nights, and its 2010 already! Is it just me or have I been too immersed with the past that the present is overlooked and the future forgotten?
Oh, well, happy 2010, people! Praying that whatever awaits us in this year is best suited for our cause and...meaning in life.
That aside, it means Ortho exams soon! *facepalm*

2. I doubt that I have any serious histrionic tendencies, but why do I get attention when and where I least want it? Argh.

3. Still indecisive about what case I should select for my fourth case write up.

4. Sherlock Holmes is epic. So epic that I see Avatar as secondary. The latter has mesmerising graphics even without the 3D feature, but Sherlock Holmes has intelligent story _and_ awesome action scenes. Compare the mystery to Avatar's a la Pocahontas-FernGully-hybrid story and any sane mind with genuine appreciation for story telling would know which to go for.
...then again, this Sherlock Holmes fangirl is already biased from the start.

Current Music: 21 Guns - Greenday featuring American Idiot Cast

P/s: Sherlock Holmes OST, me want!

Tunnel Vision

"The key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success but significance - and then even the small steps and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning" - Oprah Winfrey

Source

We're blessed with stereoscopic vision as opposed to panoramic; the former enables one to gauge depth and distance at the expense of reduced field of vision.

Combine this anatomical advantage with the outstanding capabilities of the grey cells - plus guidance from God - we're supposed to be fully equipped to face the challenges the world has to offer, whatever form it may be. In an ideal world, or at least in theory.

It's like as I grow older and my eyes opening wider to take in the surroundings, the cruel world surfaces little by little, each discovery more shocking and disturbing than the previous. At times I shudder to think what sort of bleak future awaits mankind down the road. Or if I can see any future at all. Is it there in the first place?

The integral factor in this is focus. No matter how overwhelming things can be, the rule is keeping your eyes on what is truly important, what shines above the rest, and those that help in self-improvement and in securing a brighter future.

Maybe a little "figurative tunnel vision" is good. It keeps those troublesome diversions out of sight, so that the more significant aims become the highlight of the show.

Of course, there's still the danger of being narrow-minded instead...

Current Music: You Don't Miss Your Water ('Til the Well Runs Dry) - Craig David

P/s: Two differential diagnoses for bilateral temporal hemianopia are pituitary adenoma and craniopharyngioma.

Versus

Every once in awhile, we are unfortunate enough to encounter people who are ineffably impossible.

Impossible because there's no pleasing them. They're trapped in their own delusions that they're always right and that others are downright wrong. Their flawed voice of reason is strong, perhaps outdone only by their stubbornness.

Most of these people are, from my observation, the aged. The kind of old guys talking loudly about nothings, smoking one cigarette stick after another, blowing stinking cigarette smoke from their nostrils like an insufferable exhaust of a decrepit automobile, unaware of the end that it is heading to. Or old shrews who go around like a fussy headmistress with obsessive-compulsive disorder, shaking fingers at the smallest of trivials and blowing their top like kettles on high when things don't go the way they had dictated.

Because some people are so narrow in their thinking capacity that when something goes slightly off, they're the first ones to point it out as a blasphemy - although it could have actually been another view which is not entirely unacceptable...

...or a necessary evil that could not be avoided.

Case in point: Last week I was tasked to perform venepuncture in this one old...fella, prepared with a slight reminder from a few housemen - "Pak cik tu susah sikit. Kalau tak dapat sekali, tak payah cuba lagi". When I realized who the patient in question was, I figured what the doctors meant by "difficult"; it wasn't the veins that would pose as a challenge to this hapless adventurer, but the fellow's personality. It didn't take much observational skill to note that this fellow might be of the inconsiderate type, with his radio on loudly and his manner of speaking and even of lying on his bed. (...I'm guessing now the identity may not be a secret anymore to my fellow ward-mates at the time?)

With whatever hope for a smooth procedure out of the nearby sliding doors, I approached the bed and told him the usual stuff. As I started to tie the 'tourniquet' just above his left elbow, he rambled about how students shouldn't be taking blood and it's a doctor's job and how the government shouldn't allow it and how he would've gone elsewhere if it weren't because of for what-reason-I-couldn't-be-bothered-at-the-time...to another patient, who apparently agreed with him.

I maintained a deaf ear throughout, focusing my eyes on the needle and the vein, my lips pursed tight, muting my tongue from uttering a single word of rebuttal, and confining my debater mode within the deepest depths of my being.

There was the temptation of deliberately keeping the needle poking him in longer, just to punish him with intolerable pain for that erroneous mindset, his incurable ego and his godforsaken tongue, or maybe just screw up so that he'll be treated to another dose of needle puncture more tormenting than my own - but there was this angelic voice of reason somewhere in my head (where have you been all this while!?) insisted that no, I must not resort to mindless violence or cheap revenge, professional people don't stoop to the level of ignorant imbeciles, besides shouldn't this be seen as an opportunity to prove that we medical students, who are scoffed at unjustly, are also at least as capable as the doctors when it comes to a simple procedure like venepuncture!

Cough. Pardon for the momentary idealistic intermission that slipped through...

So yes, I succeeded, thank dear God for that, smiling at the blood in the syringe as it was transferred into the plain bottle, not one minute meeting the eyes of the fellow (take that, ha!).

But, underneath the calm(?) facade, while the blood flowed impeccably into the tube, there was another battle raging in the chambers of my conscience; my debater part was slowly breaking free, keen to take control of my Broca's speech area, to deliver a parting speech. My conscience pleaded for a reconsideration, I was left indecisive. Then that voice of reason reminded me that it would be unwise to pick a fight right there and then, and that some people can never change when we use words, logical or no.

So I collected the things and left him.

The doctor asked whether I got the blood - was that anxiety that I heard? - and I nodded, telling her that "...pak cik tu ada la bising skit tapi" and briefly on what he had said. She asked why had I not responded, to which I said, "Tak pe la, takut gaduh nanti..."

Just to express it out, here is what I would have said if I had gone into debater mode:

"Pak cik ada cucu tak? Dia jalan umur berapa? Selalunya budak-budak mula jalan satu tahun...Pak cik rasa salah ke kalau dia dah start belajar jalan sebelum umur dia satu tahun?

"Macam medical student la kan...kalau tak start ambil darah sekarang, nanti bila jadi doktor tak tahu ambil darah, kan ke susah? Orang ramai expect doktor-doktor tahu ambil darah...benda macam ni bukannya boleh tahu tetiba je. Nanti pak cik jugak yang susah. Tu je la. Terima kasih eh pak cik..." End with a super sweet smile that in truth wishes for all the greatest evil in the world.

The point is: People can be unreasonable. The media and the public demand too much that it gets impossible to accomplish, yet they are quick to give judgment and to penalize. In the process of defending what they see is their right, some people get stepped on and the rest becomes the scapegoat.

They forget that things can go wrong. Wishing that things do not go wrong won't nullify this 100%.

I might be wrong to have thought of the above with my own brand of malice and holier-than-thou attitude. It borders on unprofessionalism, but really, nowadays in reality, fighting water with fire works only a few times. Fighting fire with fire might prolong the issue, but hey, you might end up somewhere, right?

Is it wrong to counter acid with alkali? Because it's called neutralisation, and neutral is good in such situations, don't you think?

...I hope to God I won't ever become one bitter harridan as I grow older...

Current Music: Live Like We're Dying - Kris Allen