Detachment

To separate the brain from the heart

thinking from feeling

deduction from guesswork

logic from emotions

aims from hopes

facts from fiction

ideas from hunches

insights from instincts

wisdom from idiocy

need from lust

perspective from wishful thinking

will it disinter the strong

and entomb the weak,

living in us?

deny humanity,

repudiate our assets?

misuse our ability?

condescend our rank

to that of mere machines?

For in the end,

where will imagination be

wither will belief stand

will sympathy be ensconced

will there be a breath of inspiration

a flow of creativity

a second of euphoria

can we withstand

living in a milieu of destitude

living without a life?

For in the end,

to separate the brain from the heart

a move no different from

the physical divorcing the spiritual

the body isolating the soul.

-----

(c) ad. Lucidus, 2004.

Yes, you read that right. 2004. I dug this up from my old collection and decided that it deserves a better home.


Current Music: White Eyes - Gackt Camui

Gaia

They came again, this time bigger and badder than ever; the devastating earthquake-tsunami combo.

This time, they hit Japan.

That's how Nature reminds us how she can just snap and shows us mere humans that she could be overpowering once she powers up and starts being unpredictable, while God Reminds us that we are still tiny, tiny specks of living things that should not get too full of ourselves, and to always remember who we are, where we come from and where we will undeniably go from here.

Also, never forget to be thankful for what we have. I'll just leave this here for your perusal.

Current Music: Last Song - Gackt Camui

Just the Way Things are

Royally screwed beyond redemption, but things didn't get worse - thank God for that! That is a one-line summary of how my Psychiatry clinical exam went.

Perhaps I was destined to screw up from the beginning. The moment the patient walked into the room, I had a temporary lapse of thinking. As if my thoughts were taken over by a void so empty, so dark, and it swallowed me whole.

But somehow I pulled myself back out of that hellhole, only to fall back into it around ten minutes later.

And when the patient started crying in front of me, I figured I was doomed.

The history that I got was so pathetically scant that I almost felt embarrassed to present. So my diagnosis, I based on the Mental State Examination rather than the history.

Do I blame the patient? At one point, yes, and I'm not even embarrassed to admit this. I'd say it was human to be in despair, given my state at the time, and really...did I have any choice in the first place?

Do I feel regret for not knowing the case even though she has been warded since two weeks ago? Not really, no. Regretting would mean blaming myself - and blaming my fate, I suppose - so that's the last thing I need for now.

Maybe life'll be easier to tread on when you just find within you, that willingness to accept whatever God has Given you.

I just wonder if my 'acceptance' appears to be more of 'forlorn'.

Maybe it's just not meant to be.

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother.


Current Music: Main Theme - Zombie Loan OST 

P/s: I'm still sad that Psychiatry is over, although frankly, it's probably more than I can take...