Intermission #29

1. So. Last day of tagging tomorrow...and I seriously can't tell if I'm excited or not. I mean, being off-tag means that I'm officially holding (greater) responsibilities, yes? And honestly - I doubt that I am prepared to handle what might come my way.

Also...I don't know if it's a curse or something, but my facial muscles have this inherent tendency to...expose my stress, however small it may be. And when people start asking why do I look so stressed out when Ortho is considered nothing compared to, say, Medical posting, I really have no idea what to say in response. Is it out of habit? It's times like this that I pray for some sort of a poker face to wear...

But I suppose some things never change, yes? I mean, people don't seem to take me seriously when I want them to - don't get me wrong, I don't mind humouring people, but there's a limit to everything, yes? - and they like to tease me. I'm afraid that one day I might misunderstand (...) and actually snap, because everyone deserves some degree of respect...

2. Have I started to lose weight lately? I haven't measured my weight since some time...but I should, right? I'm not even eating well - my breakfast consists of a small chocolate bar, followed by a mug of Nescafe after the morning round, while my dinner is taken on an EOD basis. Call me ungrateful, but methinks the hospital cafe should hire better cooks...

Also, the fact that they can't even make decent Nescafe - unforgivable!

3. Why do we invest in the uncertain, when we have bigger goals to aim for?

Current Music: Written in The Stars - Tinie Tempah featuring Eric Turner
 

Intermission #28

There are things that can easily mute my tongue and yet trigger an endless chain of thoughts in my head. They don't go away easily either, and have this tendency to pop out at the most inopportune moment.
Perhaps one reason why I somewhat (kind of) enjoy working is that it helps to take my mind off such distractions. Whatever spare time I have is enough just to dwell on them without going overboard.
Lately the threshold's getting lower...and I'm scared to know what will happen when I give in to them.
I'm not acting my age, am I? Why do I allow people to fluster me only too easily? Is my self-control really this unreliable?
...I guess this is why I always have a certain dread towards Raya.
I'm sorry, God, for feeling sorry for myself despite having no solid reason to.

Still Standing

Here I am, still relatively sane ('though probably that isn't saying much, considering I'm still so green in this working business...) and, surprisingly, kind of enjoying this tagging period.

But that's not the biggest surprise.

(Take note, people, because this is where I act all out-of-character that one may be compelled to accuse me of no longer being myself.) Here goes:

I am thankful that I went to UIA.

There, I said it.

Not to say that it's a perfect 10 in my books, but it's pretty close. And all the emotional trauma(?) and harsh words that HTAA had bombarded me with? Yeah, somehow it managed to toughen me up (so far, at least), that the current hospital I'm posted at is a welcoming change.

And need I go into the knowledge aspect? Not to say that I'm uberly awesome (haha, whut?), but at least I still have some rough idea on the whats and the whys. Other things just need time - and a lot of reading and refreshing.

So far Orthopaedic's pretty okay, but I have only followed one specialist's rounds so far, and there's a lot more to be seen and experienced. Then there's the bit about Ortho being the most relaxed posting compared to the rest, so it's good, right? I mean, this adapting business takes time, and what better to spend it in a posting that doesn't really demand much from you to begin with?

Those of you who are aware of my initial horror of being posted in Ortho (which went along the lines of "zOMGwhatonEarthwhyOrthoWHY!!!???") may now give me that knowing look and say, "I told you so!".

Regardless, at least I still got my raya break - probably more than I had hoped for, although the price is by no means small. I don't even know - better make the best of it, yes?

...And now, allow me to reminiscence on my experience in Ortho posting in my university student days while I wait for the night round.

Current Music: Seigi no Koe ga Kikoeru kai? - Hirata Hiroaki & Morita Masakazu