Monday, November 28, 2011

Compilations #13

1. After a certain point, even the most patient of person might fall prey to the his or her own anger.
After a certain point, anything can turn 180 degrees.

2. What do you do when you want something so badly, but you're unsure if you're actually worthy of it? Or, heck, if it's supposed to be yours after all?

3. It's okay, isn't it, to not go for a dinner which I paid RM30 for? Let the money burn just like that...because I just don't feel like meeting people. Just because.
It's just money, after all.

4. I'm always going to be stuck in a roller coaster of emotions, aren't I? It's always one brief moment of happiness, followed by despair...
Is that how life is, generally speaking? Or am I thinking too much into it, allowing my emotions get the best out of me?

Current Music: Written in the Stars - Tinie Tempah featuring Eric Turner

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Reciprocal

I'll soon be well into my fourth month in Orthopaedics - hopefully it will be my last month, because I sure as heck would not want to be there longer than necessary. Need to finish my postings on the dot!

And, as my habits die hard, as always I tend to observe people, particularly my own colleagues and, to a slightly lesser extent, the patients.

There are those people that, no matter how one tries to establish good rapport with, one's attempts would be met with failure. At one point I realised (I judged?) that a certain new H.O. simply did not appear to be amiable enough, in which she responded in a manner that just let me down, completely dampening any interest I might have had in meeting her acquaintance. Couple this with a certain attitude which I deem as irresponsible and inconsiderate - Malay people will call this as "mengelat" - so I might as well forget it. Ignoring her will probably the lesser of two evils.

But I'll just give her the benefit of a doubt. For now, it's still "Whatever".

At one point though, it gets tiring. It feels like I'm always the one expending energy to actually initiate and even maintain things. How am I supposed to know if it's actually mutual, and that all my efforts are actually amounting to something?

Aw, man.

Current Music: Price Tag - Jessie J. featuring B.o.B

P/s: Ignore my incoherence. I'm just so utterly homesick and tired from work, that I might be making little to no sense. Maybe it's the stress talking. Pfft.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

At Intervals

At work, too many things occupy my thoughts...that the moment my shift ends, it's like everything comes crushing down. Sort of like being on high, then it goes down for no explicable reason...and it leaves you feeling helpless.

...But in my case, it's like the sudden release from work triggers a whole new myriad of thoughts that I usually had no control of.

And is it any wonder that I don't really get much rest even after work? Let's not even go into how people still called for me, asking for unreasonable, trivial things even when it's supposed to be my day off.

I hate the fact that I can't even control my own thoughts when they go overboard. I blame it on my irregular sleeping schedule, amongst other things...

Despite it all, I still pray that He will Open up the Path for me.

Current Music: How to Go (TV Ver.) - School Food Punishment

 
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