In Denial...Sort of

My mother had, every so often, encouraged me to pursue writing as a secondary career, knowing very well how I enjoy writing and how the local literary field is in dire need for better reading materials. Regardless, it's an idea that I myself have entertained every so often...but never actually got around to penning it down.

She suggested that I write something based on my working experience...

...And I have a feeling that if I ever wrote it down, the novel will be entitled "I'm not Jonah".

See, apparently they have this superstitious(?) belief at the hospital, whereby anytime someone who's already a known case of "Jonah" is at work, then plenty of admission is likely. I have, many a time, insisted that I'm not Jonah, and that it actually depends on the MO who is oncall at the same time as I am.

Until today, during which when I called my MO (an awesome one, if I may say so!) to ask about a case, he actually asked, "Eh, kenapa you sibuk sangat hari ni?".

That was after the fifth case in the Emergency Department. So far I've seen seven this day alone...And even the Medical Assistants and the MOs at ED were chuckling when I came to ED to review the cases that they referred to me.

Maybe it's payback for a relatively easy day yesterday, which was fortunate, as I was indisposed for a great deal of the afternoon, feeling under the weather such that they put me on an IV drip. Yes, I have newfound respect for patients who are able to calmly wait on their beds for their drips/antibiotics to finish, staring at the drops that signify the passing time, much like an hourglass...

God, please let my oncall finish soon. I'm starting to have phobia towards my own mobile phone...

Current Music: Misery - Maroon Five

Compilations #13

1. After a certain point, even the most patient of person might fall prey to the his or her own anger.
After a certain point, anything can turn 180 degrees.

2. What do you do when you want something so badly, but you're unsure if you're actually worthy of it? Or, heck, if it's supposed to be yours after all?

3. It's okay, isn't it, to not go for a dinner which I paid RM30 for? Let the money burn just like that...because I just don't feel like meeting people. Just because.
It's just money, after all.

4. I'm always going to be stuck in a roller coaster of emotions, aren't I? It's always one brief moment of happiness, followed by despair...
Is that how life is, generally speaking? Or am I thinking too much into it, allowing my emotions get the best out of me?

Current Music: Written in the Stars - Tinie Tempah featuring Eric Turner

Reciprocal

I'll soon be well into my fourth month in Orthopaedics - hopefully it will be my last month, because I sure as heck would not want to be there longer than necessary. Need to finish my postings on the dot!

And, as my habits die hard, as always I tend to observe people, particularly my own colleagues and, to a slightly lesser extent, the patients.

There are those people that, no matter how one tries to establish good rapport with, one's attempts would be met with failure. At one point I realised (I judged?) that a certain new H.O. simply did not appear to be amiable enough, in which she responded in a manner that just let me down, completely dampening any interest I might have had in meeting her acquaintance. Couple this with a certain attitude which I deem as irresponsible and inconsiderate - Malay people will call this as "mengelat" - so I might as well forget it. Ignoring her will probably the lesser of two evils.

But I'll just give her the benefit of a doubt. For now, it's still "Whatever".

At one point though, it gets tiring. It feels like I'm always the one expending energy to actually initiate and even maintain things. How am I supposed to know if it's actually mutual, and that all my efforts are actually amounting to something?

Aw, man.

Current Music: Price Tag - Jessie J. featuring B.o.B

P/s: Ignore my incoherence. I'm just so utterly homesick and tired from work, that I might be making little to no sense. Maybe it's the stress talking. Pfft.