And Now, For Something Relatively New

1. ...On second thought, maybe it ain't all new.

I'll be frank. At work, last week was bad on so many levels. I realise that I'm just not cut out for neonatal resuscitation stuff, and couple that with loads of cases, I'd say that it was hell to go through. Yes, including the fact that on the night prior to said resus I would be having nightmares. Nightmares, I tell you!

So yeah, I'm not into emergency stuff. It's not good for my poor little heart.

This week has been a breath of fresh air. Yeah, so I got stuck with being the Head of the shift for several times, but hey, anything is better than being the one in charge of Resus. There were a couple of dramas ("Why did you guys steal one of our p.m. people!? You guys have enough people already!" or "Why the heck am I Head again suddenly? Why me!?" or "Dude, why do we have so many premature babies and twins? What the heck is O&G doing? What the heck have the Melaka people been doing!?") and stuff, but...well, at least I'm still alive and kicking. And vigorous with good respiratory effort and muscle tone and...uhhh, yeah.

Last week I was in pieces. This week...somehow, I recovered. The trip back home last weekend helped greatly...and then some.

2. ...I am already defeated, but if it means eventually winning a bigger game, then it's fine with me. More than fine, in fact.

But only if I'm not going down alone.

3. Fact: I hate working in the nursery during weekends. For so many reasons that I don't bother making a list anymore.

4. Off day tomorrow, yay! Maybe it's high time to spring clean my room...and shop for a pair of shoes. Again.

Current Music: Without You - David Guetta featuring Usher

P/s: Karniza, dude, terharu to see the pics in your blog entry! Missing you guys and the good ol' university days already...

Kotoba

Words are powerful.

Could this little fact, perhaps, be the reason why I immerse myself in linguistics and writing?

They say rumour spreads faster than a bushfire (...or something to that effect?). But what, pray tell, are words when they may not even represent the situation?

Maybe people see what I fail - or deny myself - to see.

Maybe people just jump too easily to conclusions.

Or maybe the simple fact remains: people just love to talk about people, whatever the topic may be.

Current Music: Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) - Kelly Clarkson

People Will Be People

1. After a certain point, one just couldn't give a damn as to what people think of oneself anymore.

I'll be frank here: ever since I entered nursery it feels as if my semi-depression has worsened. As such, there is a desperate need to actually run away from all the absurdities and hectic schedule by going back home.

Yes, my threshold for homesickness is reduced to two weeks. Previously during Ortho I could go up to three weeks.

Even a few MOs noted this change - which probably isn't saying much considering I'm more or less like an open book. You can tell that something is wrong...but even so some people misunderstood it.

So if I can't even hold a 'neutral' expression, what, pray tell, do you expect of me?

And so, whatever. Think what you want - all I know is that I'm not causing anybody trouble, and only He knows of my misery.

2. Two of those rare moments that I appreciated a baby in the nursery:

i) "Oh my God, so cute! Can I take him home and not return him to his mother?"

Colleague #1: "Can you put him down? I want to examine him..."

"You're just trying to pry him away from me..."

Colleague #1: "Okay, fine, then you examine him la..."

"On examination, baby is cute. Unable to proceed further."

ii) Still with the same baby,

Nurse: "Dr, dah habis ke belum? Saya nak pulangkan 'kat mak dia..."

"Kak, saya tak nak pulangkan, boleh tak? Comel sangat!"

"Boleh. Dr je la yang bawa balik, bagi dia susu..."

"Erkk, saya takde susu. Saya bagi Nescafe boleh tak?"

"Macam tu tak tidur la budak ni..."

3. I curse awfully a lot these days. The amount of curses that came out from my mouth in a day is more than a whole Ortho posting put together.

...Not exactly something to be proud of, I take it?


Current Music: Who Says - Selena Gomez