Intermission #45

Have you ever feel so small, so insignificant?

Have you ever felt so hurt that it feels like someone just tore your chest wide open and ripped your heart out of the praecordium, and then shred it to pieces?

Have you ever felt so betrayed by the ones you love and even by yourself?

Have you ever had so many back-to-back episodes of self-reprisals, like a barrage of machine guns taking shots at you?

And all these pain can't be drowned, can't be deleted, can't be ignored or denied.

Why do I do this to myself?

And so it goes on - this fear of attachment. Of getting hurt.

Obligatory New Year Post(?)

It's just another, run-of-the-mill day, to survive.

It just goes to show that while we are definitely growing older, to say that we are growing in wisdom and maturity is still up to interpretation.

Most things change, whether we like them to or not. And as for those that remain the same...well, they are too deeply ingrained that I wonder if there is ever hope for any improvement.

Just another one question out of many that I doubt I will ever find the answer to.

Current Music: 50 Ways to Say Goodbye - Train

Intermission #44

I'm honestly getting too old for all this. Everything.

Too impatient with the wait. Too temperamental to tolerate the many quirks of people at work. Too lazy to just do it.

And way too attached to risk the loss.

Current Music: 50 Ways to Say Goodbye - Train