More Freewriting

1. The irony of it all.

I remember the irrepressible longing to do other things when I was supposed to be studying during the study week (or, more accurately, any free time I had during which I was supposed to allocate to studying...). I remember the boredom that came from reading those academic texts, and the frustration at the fact that I never managed to make them stick in my head despite my countless efforts and encounters with those same lines.

So now, when I'm actually on break and have the option to actually entertain the inner otaku and the inner child in me...why am I not making good use it

Aye, we only appreciate things when they're gone.

2. Despite what others may say, I don't think I'm capable, academic-wise or no. The ideal situation would be that I could be using my break to actually develop my other potentials - perhaps those that may be used to make me a better or a more able person - just so that I won't be accused of being too academic-oriented (not that it is actually anywhere close to the truth...oh, the harsh reality!).

The problem is, I lack the discipline.

Problem number two, I don't even have enough discipline to force any discipline on me.
Conclusion? I'm quite hopeless.

But we live and we learn. Perhaps as I journey on further in life, I'll pick up things that might be able to help me grow.

One things that would really help is for me to stop getting stressed out over trifles.
All the adrenaline gush ain't gonna do my poor heart any good anyway, and I think my blood vessels have enough fatty or atherosclerotic plaques lining them as it is (Heaven forbid!).

So let's try a calmer approach from now on. Breathing techniques, sound mind and body...and most importantly, trust in Him.

Of course, it would also help to be equipped with the realisation that change is always around the corner. Without change, humans will be static, with little or no desire to develop themselves. Without change too, comes boredom.

I suppose there's a good reason why America's politics - more specifically, Obama - keeps on yelling out "Change" like it's some sort of a mantra on a broken record.
So we should always update our map - a map that we use to define the world. A map that was shaped from our past experiences since we started to have (some) control over our memory banks, coloured by our own emotions, distorted when we erred, tainted by those episodes in which we were enshrouded in anger and blind reason, rebuilt when we rose from our fall, and refined once we gain that priceless revelation we call wisdom.
...Letting go of the old map is hard, but it's something that should be done, sooner or later. Hard because it may not be easy to accept that something that we have spent a lot of effort in has finally became outdated, hard because we stoop to the harsh realisation that we were wrong.

Letting it go and being back to the drawing board is just another step to acquiring a sense of maturity.

Why continue living in the past when Father Time is now speeding ahead in his F1 racing car?

Current Music: Kasanaru Kage (Instrumental)

Lost

End of the block exam for my first clinical posting. And suffice to say, it was screwed on an epic scale.
But we're not going to talk about that. No sirree.
Nor are we going to talk about how I drove back.

I was just checking out Tun Dr. M's blog. Not really out of curiosity - but rather, it was more of boredom.
To whomever who are following his blog, my advice is this: The comments section is hardly worth reading, period.
Simply because if you're planning to make your reading and your time worthwhile, the comments can hardly appease you. They're just a huge waste of time.
The fourth PM's writings are worth a lot when they're not too infused with emotions, I daresay. For instance, when he touched on the economics, history, and the games that politicians play and the words that they twist out of context.
The comments, most of the time, are only by those who only voice out their blind admiration for the PM, most of which sounds a lot like "sucking up".

Maybe now is not the best time to blog. I'm like the centre for all the negative energy in this part of the world...

Flipped

So I'm back in Kuantan, although not in campus. Yet.
What have I achieved from the oh-too-short Raya break? Other then my successful attempts at cutting watermelons open (would you believe it? I've never done anything like cutting watermelons before...) and the sudden peaked interest in the current American political arena (or rather, how the people are criticizing Republican Party's Sarah Palin) and the realisation that I have this "fear" of ketupat and my feeble attempts at studying...mmm, that doesn't leave anything much for me, does it?
But the break did give me time to refresh and to reconstruct my perspective. Perspective on many things, in fact.
Now the issue is whether I can actually carry out my plans of reformation, rather than just leaving them on an intangible blueprint.
Yosh.
Reality has a way of knocking back some sense into you, you know?