The Next Phase

And so, it ends.

Only to signal a new beginning, a new chapter. And today, was just a prologue to it.

If I were to be honest, I never thought of feeling what I felt back then. To have the prefix "Doctor" before my name, it should be a good feeling - but the feeling I had, mixed amongst gratitude and syukur and relief, was fear.

Fear of the sudden gravity of the situation, the responsibility that comes with it. It just got real.

(Added to the confusion was the question if I am now incapable of feeling 'happy', even after hearing the good news. Maybe I'm over-analysing things here, but I've got quite good in defining how I feel towards certain things...Ask me if I'm relieved, I'll say yes in a split second. Am I happy? I'll need to get back to you later with a proper answer...
It probably warrants a post of its own, if I ever manage to string coherent words to explain it to those who would read it...)

I could rant on and on, I suppose, but much has been said about it here.

It's a whole new ball game, with a whole new set of rules, players and audience. And it calls for a different tactic to emerge victorious.

And the game will be on soon enough.


Current Music: The Ballad of Mona Lisa - Panic! At the Disco

Intermission #24

This is it. Final Pro. Today - Monday the 23rd - until Wednesday the 25th.

Frankly, I don't know what to think and feel anymore. Just go through with it, as if I'm on autopilot or something. Argh.

For some reason I'm not as down as I thought I would be. Tired, very tired...but I thought I'd be in total despair by now.

Not to say that I did awesomely. Sigh. At this point, beggars can't be choosers.

All I know is, I'm almost halfway there...wherever 'there' may lead me. It's no secret though that I wish to graduate as soon as possible.

But I still pray for the best - for everyone and for my own self.

...Positive!Self, where have you been all these while!?

Current Music: Insya Allah - Maher Zain

Intermission #23

Note to self: When people say 'global' as in 'global warming', it really means "There's no escape for you, only despair!"

And here I was hoping to avoid the infernal heat back on campus, only to be greeted by the exact replica back in my own hometown. What on Earth!? So now I'm sick with a bad case of upper respiratory tract infection, and I'm aching all over. For some reason my sinusitis is worse in hot weather...

...This little fact should be some sort of a motivation for me. As in, study hard -> good results -> do Masters overseas -> cooler weather.

Ah, I dream nonetheless.

...study, woman, STUDY!!!11 How's about channeling all the thinking energy to issues that really matter for a   change?