Sixth!

Done with O&G, finally. Thank God. Sick of everything there already.

And...as for Anaes, surprisingly, I'm not enjoying it as much as I hoped.

Frankly, I'm scared. Very, very scared.

Current Music: Let Me Love You - Ne-Yo

Madhouse

Despite our small number, the higher ups still make unreasonable demands.

It's as if they don't care. As if they're ignorant as to how we're also struggling to perform our most basic of duties, and yet they continue to pester us by making things more complicated, more convoluted than necessary.

It's bloody stupid.

Just leave us alone, damnit.

No matter how I try to push myself to go beyond my limits, there are always obstacles.

Is it fair that we the innocents must pay for the follies of the idiots in the management department, and the selfishness of those who only seek to save their own sorry a**es?

The answer came to me on a fellow friend's facebook entry on my newsfeed:

"Nasib baik ada Akhirat"

Because He is the Most Just of Judges.

...and at times I figured it's selfish to ask for life to be a breeze all the way. Because life's not a bed of roses. Especially when you realise that you have pricks in power.

Current Music: Love Story meets Viva la Vida - The Piano Guys

Going Down

"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful" ~ Sigmund Freud

1. If you will pardon the words that will follow - the hospital is going to the dogs.

Maybe that's why my current MO & specialist are trying to seduce me into O&G. Not because I'm capable or knowledgeable or anything, but because the department is losing people and they're trying to maintain the number.

Stupid policies are stupid. They're treating us like kids.

It feels especially insulting when you know you've been doing your best all this while, and yet...and yet you can't change people's perception, opinion, biases for the better.

But one may argue: screw what people say. You're not supposed to let them bother you so much, especially when you know that they themselves sometimes don't know any better. Give them some benefit of the doubt, or something.

But you're supposed to be doing all this, working, struggling in God's Cause, yes?

Ideally speaking, yes.

2. Resentment is easy. Easier than trying to find the obscure, almost nonexistent positive aspects of things.

It's easier, but it's just not right.

3. So if anyone's still interested to know, yes, most likely I'll be applying to return to Selangor once I'm done with housemanship.

Am I even worthy of wondering if there will be one who will try to change my mind?

Current Music: La La - The Cab