We All Falter - Albeit In Our Own Ways

It hurts.

It feels like you are stripped off from every single strand of thread that was, until mere moments ago, gracefully and proudly shielding your sense of self and dignity. And now, as you stood bare with your knees giving away, the weaknesses that you had tried only too hard to shelter from the knowledge of the rest of the world now fully highlighted and clamoured on, deemed as the very last things you've thought of them as - having taken the taxing measures to prevent them from devolving into sheer ugliness and sin that tarnish your soul and stain your reputation - and yet...

There was no defense to set up. Time did not allow such procedure, such luxury. Would I say that everything conspired against me for that faux pas I was too stupid to have overlooked during its process of conception? Even my second line of defense failed me - perhaps it was tiredness, or even the necessity to simply leave the scene - and before my mind could fully recognize the trouble that had surrounded me out of the blue, and how deep was the depths of despair that had swallowed me whole without warning, the damage was already done. The boat had left the coast, I could not bring it back.

A well-meant apology, would it suffice? Would it erase the bleak episode completely, and allow redemption to shine through, despite the fact that good will alone is powerless to nullify any despicable misconducts that had managed to seep through insidiously?

Or am I doomed to let the unappeasable, ever-gluttonous regret feast away on my trembling conscience, the remnants of my own person?

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Now playing: Craig David feat. Sting - Rise & Fall
via FoxyTunes

P/s:
O Muse, thy insistence on theatricals knows no bounds!
If it could be directed towards the completion of my case reports,
How heartening it would prove to be!