Hibi

August 31.

It's one of those days again. Days that I'd rather have as non-existent. Days that people celebrate without truly understanding or appreciating history.

Despite being unpatriotic in the least, I do understand history. I am thankful (to some extent, but thankful nonetheless) for some of the great things that happened to me here. But...to say that the present is truly in glory? I have my doubts, and am not hesitant to say so.

It is true that we are more developed now compared to once before - but let's just put it this way; Our mentality has not developed as rapidly as the materialistic aspect. Backward development? Perhaps.

Imagine: People behaving like they have no idea what 'humility' means! I do agree that people should dress decently in public, but the way some people go about trying enforce 'morality', it's just not right! That's how we get opponents to the notion, saying that it's transgressing basic human rights!

I, for one, don't really like it when outsiders dictate what I should wear (that is God's privilege over me, but He's no outsider!), and hence, I do have something against school uniforms. Given, it would mean that I know, inherently, what may be worn and what may not. It's as simple as that.

I am okay with individualism, as long as it doesn't try to condescend other individuals.

But my main complaint is not wholly on dress code. It's how people behave that really ticks me off.

We claim we're civilised. But during 'celebrations', so called, why do most of us degrade ourselves, lower than the level of animals? It's downright embarrassing and depressing, how I wish to just escape from this pathetic country and how weak I am to challenge the mainstream 'culture', if I may put it as such.

Personally, if they have no religion, I couldn't care less. But please! Forget not He Who hath Lordship over thee, and never shalt thou forget thyself!

And there's also this 'habit' of blaming others, or other cultures.

Some claim that it's the West who has contaminated our lifestyle. But did they pause and ponder about the real situation?

They have their own lifestyle, yes, as do we. But, our problem is that we are too quick to copy what is not really good, or those that are not meant to be for us. For instance, everybody knows that smoking is bad, health-wise or...whatever it is. But some people do it because it's 'cool' and the need to be 'accepted'. Take note: I'm not only referring to cigarettes, per se, since there are also local...addictive that are a big no-no. Caffeine is not included, though.

And, we are bad drivers. We're not sporting enough, nor are we concerned about other people's safety on the road. And I'm willing to bet that the West are better drivers than we are. Is it because they were the ones who came up with automobiles in the first place? It's anybody's guess.

Politics. Our current political pattern, quoting a lecturer, is not designed for unity. The government comes up with a notion, and the opposition has to oppose. It's not beneficial for anyone if two sides, supposedly representing the same mass, are arguing. Whatever happened to 'work towards a common goal, forget our differences'?
Education. Again, we're copying what is not suitable for us. We're learning too much, yet it doesn't really shape the human within us. It's just food for brain, but isn't it supposed to supply our conscious as well? The system is too exam-oriented, that students abhor exams rather than enjoy it (ie. treating it as a positive challenge). We're becoming too worried about scoring instead of paying enough attention for us to enhance our skills.

It's absurd, how what we were taught does not really apply in real life. Could one say that, after all it's said and done, it's just a waste of time?

Current Music: We are One Tonight - Switchfoot

Renascence

It's like I've finally seen the light, now that I'm aware of the error of my ways.

Although, it would seem too farfetched if I were to say that it was a total rebirth on my part. I have, in fact, realised it long ago - but I'd say that it is only recently that I've mustered enough courage to...experiment.

Of course, I'm not saying that I'm changing my style as a whole. More accurately, one may say that I'm in the beginning of the transition state.

Never mind that this whole change is somewhat late. Better late than never, in any case.

I can't say that I'm confident that it will work out - perhaps it will. For one thing, it'll make me stop taking things too lightly and letting me subconscious self do all the work without my own assistance (Perhaps that's why she has been rebellious of late...).

Habits are difficult to break. It means letting go of what I used to feel comfortable with, what I felt _used_ to. But at least, I'm trying.

Get a grip. One will never know everything. The least one can aim for is as much as his/her brain is able to take, as long as there's stamina, as long as Father Time is smiling upon him/her, with blessings from the Powers that Be.
It's a leap into the dark, and out of my comfort zone.

Current Music: Keep Tryin' - Utada Hikaru

Merci

As the Japanese proverb goes, even a paper has two sides.
So allow me to begin by extending my 'heartfelt' gratitude.
To my university, which I will not mention its name here, thank you for giving me the chance to be in the course of my dreams.
Thank you for giving me the avenue to search for my true meaning of life.
Thank you providing me with a comfortable little corner I can call my own.
Thank you for introducing me to my batch.
Thank you for giving me a freezing cold lecture hall. (I like cold temperatures!)
Thank you for the new experience.

But.

Thank you for making me hike virtually everyday.
Thank you for managing to make studying less interesting, and more tormenting.
Thank you for making me surrounded by scary people.
Thank you for isolating me from civilisation.
Thank you for complicating things beyond perspective.
Thank you for making my life more difficult that it had to be.
Thank you for denying my rights as a human being.
Thank you for making me a worse person, instead of a better one.
Thank you for stripping me away from what I held dear.
Thank you for sucking my parents' money.
Thank you for deteriorating my health as a whole.
Thank you for helping me mess up my life and myself.
Thank you for changing me, to the extent that now I am foreign even to myself.

Interesting. The negatives outweigh the positives by a long shot. Is the future worth the present?

Current Music: Killing Me - L`Arc~En~Ciel