Gaia

They came again, this time bigger and badder than ever; the devastating earthquake-tsunami combo.

This time, they hit Japan.

That's how Nature reminds us how she can just snap and shows us mere humans that she could be overpowering once she powers up and starts being unpredictable, while God Reminds us that we are still tiny, tiny specks of living things that should not get too full of ourselves, and to always remember who we are, where we come from and where we will undeniably go from here.

Also, never forget to be thankful for what we have. I'll just leave this here for your perusal.

Current Music: Last Song - Gackt Camui

Just the Way Things are

Royally screwed beyond redemption, but things didn't get worse - thank God for that! That is a one-line summary of how my Psychiatry clinical exam went.

Perhaps I was destined to screw up from the beginning. The moment the patient walked into the room, I had a temporary lapse of thinking. As if my thoughts were taken over by a void so empty, so dark, and it swallowed me whole.

But somehow I pulled myself back out of that hellhole, only to fall back into it around ten minutes later.

And when the patient started crying in front of me, I figured I was doomed.

The history that I got was so pathetically scant that I almost felt embarrassed to present. So my diagnosis, I based on the Mental State Examination rather than the history.

Do I blame the patient? At one point, yes, and I'm not even embarrassed to admit this. I'd say it was human to be in despair, given my state at the time, and really...did I have any choice in the first place?

Do I feel regret for not knowing the case even though she has been warded since two weeks ago? Not really, no. Regretting would mean blaming myself - and blaming my fate, I suppose - so that's the last thing I need for now.

Maybe life'll be easier to tread on when you just find within you, that willingness to accept whatever God has Given you.

I just wonder if my 'acceptance' appears to be more of 'forlorn'.

Maybe it's just not meant to be.

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother.


Current Music: Main Theme - Zombie Loan OST 

P/s: I'm still sad that Psychiatry is over, although frankly, it's probably more than I can take...

Intermission #19

They say never let fear take over.

I don't know if it's just some ironic coincidence, but I seem to recall that this is not the first time that my exams happen to take place at a time when trouble is brewing at another part of the world. Some time before it was the tsunami, then there was also the flood...and now, the genocide in Libya, and my exams are in three days' time.

It was during clinic with a lecturer yesterday when he brought up the issue, which I shamefully displayed my ignorance on the issue. Dr. U was saying how a bit of depression is good - I quote, "depressed people have better reality testing" and "those people who never had an episode of depression have high tendency to become overconfident" and they might terrorise other people, "like what Gadaffi is doing".

So there. Meanwhile, here I am, getting all jittery and depressed for the coming exams, and in an attempt to allay those uneasy feelings, I try to be thankful that the situation wasn't any worse...and I started thinking how bad things are for other people.

Needless to say, out of that exercise...I get more depressed.

Yeah, it backfired.

God Help Us all.

Current Music: No Moral (TV Size) - Itou Kanako