Stitches

Had an episiotomy workshop today. Suffice to say, I developed a newfound respect for tailors worldwide...
...and I doubt I can ever make it as a surgeon. Still, who knows what the future holds?
A friend - classmate, in fact - asked me why didn't I take up office work instead. To which I responded with, "Because I don't like paperwork, and I'd rather work on people."
Notice the words "work on people" instead of a more amiable "work with people".
...I'll touch on this later. Don't know when, but definitely not now.

I seriously need time for myself. All the sugar I've been taking in does not seem to work in mending my mood, and my headache's pretty unbearable.
I just don't want to see some people for awhile.
Of course I realise that I'm asking for something that's impossible.
I need more strength this time around. Previously, while I was still in IM, most of my energy went to my task of adapting to the new environment and accepting that I have, to some extent, changed...in aspects that I myself found it hard to tolerate. Currently, the energy should be mobilised to enduring the stressful environment (created by some people who are notoriously hard to work with!) and struggling with all the hassles and competitions and tiring tasks.
...I found myself questioning whether I was really tailored for this profession more than ever. It's obviously not in my genes, so what is pushing me forward?
The cognisance that it's too late - and too rueful - for me to turn back alone is not enough.

Current Music: Saving Me - Nickelback