Being constantly thrown into different wards just after I'm well adapting to one is starting to take its toll. And while the female ward can be relatively more peaceful than the male ward, in terms of drama it is anything but peaceful.
If I could just throw throw my hands up in frustration and just walk off to leave all this madness behind, I would. Because I can't take all this stupidity anymore. The hierarchy is too much. Certain people are just not professional enough. People are becoming more and more selfish. Patients demand too much, way beyond what we can provide. Oh, heck, the hospital's in a damned poverty, and the ECG machines should just burn in hell. Haemato lab people - some of them - are lazy (Pick up the phone, morons!) and so darned annoyingly rude.
Even my best is not good enough, my patience has seen better days, and nowadays all I want to do is to just lock myself away and cry myself to sleep.
At one point it feels like everything else is hopeless, and I can only depend on myself. But it just exhausts me entirely.
Lamenting to people is no good, but even complaining to God doesn't seem to bring much relief.
What do I do then?
Years from now, would I be able to look back at this moment in time and say that "Yes, I survived this hellhole, and I'm a better person because of it"?
2. I may not have good understanding of people as I thought.
That would explain why I can be so socially awkward at times. Why my social life is nonexistent. Why I am just so bad in maintaining friendships. Why I have very few friends that I feel like I can share my problems with without feeling so bad for burdening them.
...And why I'll most likely be forever alone.
...Damn, I feel more tears coming.
I need a break from all this...desperately.
Current Music: Need You - Travie McCoy
