Namae

Sometimes hearing my name being called is enough to embarrass me. While it has no negative connotation associated to it, but...the fact that I can never live up to the 'positivity' of my name is truly...depressing.
I'm only the personification of the physical solidity aspect, nothing more.
It's bad enough that I tend to argue with anything that I find wrong (no matter how trifling it may be), but now...I even argue with myself. It's a cause for concern, how it contributes to my indecisiveness.
And the fact that I'm rebuking myself...and accusing myself of being too...vile is just too unbearable at this point.
So why is it so damn hard to just be positive for once?
From last night's conversation, I can only answer in this way: Because life's not a fairy tale. Be realistic, and reality is depressing. Like I said, "Welcome to the real world"...where only the strong will survive - then oppress the weak.
But I don't intend to go into political issues - or the administrations, for that matter. Perhaps there will come a time when...I can slaughter them as much as they deserve to be slaughtered.
I know my priorities. I know what kind of obstacles lie ahead and within me - so what is stopping me from racing forward?
"You're your own worst enemy".
It's an axiom that there are some things that one cannot change - one can only change oneself. The problem is...habits are hard to break.
The hardest point is always in the beginning. Come to think of it, I have never actually been in the beginning. I'm still far from the starting line.
And I'm no runner.
It's scary, to feel that I can't even control myself properly. What am I left with?

Current Music: D-technolife - UVERworld

Onaji

Frankly speaking, I'm out of things to say.
I realise that day by day, the same thoughts cross my mind - no need to repeat them here - and yes, my emotions crumble due to the same darn things all over again.
I'm sick of it. It just proves how weak I truly am.
Perhaps this is His way of strengthening me up, shaping me into a better person?
(Merely by hearing a positive voice in my head is scaring me. No kidding. Usually I wouldn't bother too much).
The future is anybody's guess.

Okane

'Is there anything better than to be longing for something, when you know it is within reach?' - Greta Grabo

I don't see myself as a shopaholic. Really, I kid thee not. But as an average shopper, I still feel anguish when I see price tags at the mall.

One may argue: You're paying for the quality, so it's okay to pay big bucks for it. But let's face it, not all pricey stuff are good in terms of quality, and likewise, not all pricey stuff are actually worth the money at all.

I wonder what power do brands have that they manage to impact our psychology. A shirt for over one hundred bucks? Surely the manufacturers are joking!

And yes, I'm starting to be wary of sales. While it is refreshing to see 50% off or even 70% off, but don't you ever wonder if they had, in fact, raised the price prior to the sale, that in the end, despite the so-called sale, you're still paying for...say, not too far away from the original price?

I mean, it's bad enough to have heard that some food supplement manufacturers have been somewhat...vile in the case of those who stretch the truth - lying on the food labels.

So what _can_ we trust nowadays?

For one thing, I think it's acceptable to say that the world today, as we know it, is moving towards destruction, no thanks to humans who are too greedy in searching for material wealth in that they deceive others.

Money is becoming our first priority. Let's be realistic here - without money, one can hardly survive. Heck, to even lead a life without the luxury would be quite hard.

Temptations. Need I say more?

I'm sorry for spending. I don't think I overdid it, because...well, let's just say that the rational part of me kept my head in the vicious game of shopping.

All these bickerings within me is starting to be a pain. I do wish it won't be too damaging for my emotional and psychological health.

Otherwise...well, best not go into it.