Compilations #11

It feels...not good.

I have yet to discover the clear demarcation between 'ignoring' and 'denying'. Perhaps it's because my head is never good with such distinctions, especially when it comes to subjective matters.

Just like I can't seem to practise this 'optimism' that people preach.

I wonder if calling me a 'walking paradox' won't be off the mark...

2. It feels like a love-hate relationship.

Lately I've been disappointed for far too often. Too often, too much. The anime titles that they're churning out are becoming more and more - shall I say - derogatory in nature, although there are a few selected titles that make me look forward to them.

This doesn't stop me from following up via anime blogs though. Why do I continuously subject myself to such trifles?

Is it something worth bragging about if I can walk into an anime store and give a synopsis of at least 85% of the anime stuff that they have? And let's not even get me started on the seiyuu themselves...

3. But I am getting utterly frustrated with the manga Detective Conan. It's like a bunch of filler chapters over and over again, except that the cases are not enticing to say the least.

The kids are an annoying bunch...and I kind of wish that Ran will just drop dead already.

4. Bored. Bored, bored, bored, bored....bored.

5. And yet back then when classes were on I was still stuck with boredom. What on Earth is wrong with me?!

6. ...I probably have been watching a bit too many movies. Is it normal to not feeling excited about having watched Kung Fu Panda 2?

Or maybe I just can't get over the talking animals.

...Somewhere along the way in the cinema I wondered if it'll be considered racism to be having different animal species in a movie depicted differently.

7. ...I probably should have put a warning before I actually started typing this entry. The obligatory "turn away if you don't want to be plagued by my despair or something".

Too late though. I apologise.

Current Music: Wonderland - Natalia Kills

At Intervals

It has been days since I last blogged, and amazingly, I'm still relatively stable despite having little to no outlet to vent out.

May I begin with the fact that I'm very thankful that I no longer have to return to campus? Packing out was an abomination, but now with those things safely at home, unpacking is another serious business. It's utterly frustrating! The two big boxes were still full of things, and now I seriously wonder if I actually have too many clothes. There were those that I even forgot I owned them in the first place, and now my cupboard is practically overflowing with clothes...and headscarves. This basically means no shopping for clothes for these few months. (Unless it's really important, like buying clothings that need no ironing, because once work begins I wonder if I'll have the time for ironing or other basic activities of daily living...)

The annual grand dinner went well, and the choral speaking was fun to do. Great stuff, and I love the door-gifts!

The five-day-vacation to Perth was, in general, excellent. I love the weather (winter, oh yeah!!) and the general environment there was calm. It's very neat, how civilised they are, with relatively little litters on the ground. And the people there were nicer too, in general. Pity we didn't shop much though (darn you, currency exchange!), but the museum trips were great. An educational vacation, I should say. And somewhere along the way I developed this unhealthy obsession with koalas...

Went out with the old clique from primary school. It has been a long time since I met them, and now that I'm out of university, it finally feels that I'm _somewhere_, you know?

So I was asked what I'll be doing before I start getting posted to work. Probably bask in the luxury of doing nothing, I had answered (Squeeze in there somewhere a feeble attempt at suturing, I guess? Tsk self, tsk!). I do know that I need to catch up with some anime titles that I've been putting off, but now most of my anime collection has been packed in boxes in my mother's enthusiasm to spring clean, so that means I'll have to go on an exploration to search for them. More unpacking is at hand here, it seems.

Regardless, boredom is imminent. I should go out window shopping or something - just so I will not regress to becoming a socially awkward hikikomori. The current state of my social health is bad enough as it is...


Current Music: Written in The Stars - Tinie Tempah featuring Eric Turner

The Next Phase

And so, it ends.

Only to signal a new beginning, a new chapter. And today, was just a prologue to it.

If I were to be honest, I never thought of feeling what I felt back then. To have the prefix "Doctor" before my name, it should be a good feeling - but the feeling I had, mixed amongst gratitude and syukur and relief, was fear.

Fear of the sudden gravity of the situation, the responsibility that comes with it. It just got real.

(Added to the confusion was the question if I am now incapable of feeling 'happy', even after hearing the good news. Maybe I'm over-analysing things here, but I've got quite good in defining how I feel towards certain things...Ask me if I'm relieved, I'll say yes in a split second. Am I happy? I'll need to get back to you later with a proper answer...
It probably warrants a post of its own, if I ever manage to string coherent words to explain it to those who would read it...)

I could rant on and on, I suppose, but much has been said about it here.

It's a whole new ball game, with a whole new set of rules, players and audience. And it calls for a different tactic to emerge victorious.

And the game will be on soon enough.


Current Music: The Ballad of Mona Lisa - Panic! At the Disco